A small broken family -ON HOLD UNTIL NOVEMBER 2018-
by IamanAckerman
Summary: (Spoilers for manga!) After Eren's death, Mikasa is very lonely. This loneliness brings her to a great decision that would change her life forever. This decision is the decision to try one more time and it leads her straight to the orphanage. She learns the smiles and tears of being a parent as she struggles to raise three children. Hinted Eremika, Springles, and Arukuri. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

_**Hey guys! So this was a story idea I came up with, and I just had to write. Tell me what ya'll think, and please let me know if you like it!**_

 _ **Oh, and this story is not about her being helpless without Eren. I know Mikasa's strong, but Eren's one of her greatest weaknesses and we all know it. It just shows how painful it can be to lose the one person you love the most, and how with others, you can begin to heal. So please, no hate.**_

 **Chapter 1: Alone**

Mikasa was curled up on her couch. She was hugging her knees tightly, having yet another lonely night. She wasn't quite sure what to do on these days, since the only person she ever did things with (well, since… _he_ was gone…) was Armin and occasionally everyone else. But they always gave her one day to herself, so therefore she was left in loneliness.

Everyone had retired from the army, due to the fact that there wasn't really a war to fight anymore.

She looked around, wondering why her house had to be so mockingly big, practically making fun of the fact that there was only one person living there now, and that she felt awfully sad and alone. It was a house of four bedrooms, three halls, a living room, a dining room, a basement, and a kitchen. It used to hold more than one, but as of…the month before…it had become a house of just one, 23 year old girl.

Mikasa looked back down at the necklace around her neck, holding one simple key on it. One that she had seen on Eren throughout many years. It was one of the only things she had left of him, and Mikasa knew she was going to hold onto it for as long as she can, even if it carried a sadness with it.

Depression was always something Mikasa gained easily, and it was usually in times of grief, but could also come if someone she loves is avoiding her or upset with her.

Right now, she was grieving over the fact that she had lost the one thing that could make her happy, and that she couldn't get him back. Her family…her friend…the person was by her side…

Mikasa felt the tears build up, and honestly wondered why she hadn't given up on life again. She felt as though she had nothing left to live for anyway, so what kept pushing her forward?

Mikasa removed her arms from around her legs, and just lied down on the couch, shivering.

All cold and alone…For the second time in her life.

Mikasa didn't realize she was crying until a tear dropped onto her hand. But it wasn't a new thing, especially as of lately. She had even cried herself to sleep sometimes. Well… maybe every night lately.

And the ever coming nightmares didn't help. Mikasa could wake up crying, screaming, in grief and pain and the sad thing was that no one would ever be there to wrap their arms around her during her unbearable pain.

 _'Why haven't I given up? What am I living for? That's the question I keep asking myself… is it for…his memory?'_

Mikasa sighed and got up, stumbling through the halls and into her big, soft bed. She curled up so tightly into herself, that she made the resemblance of a small ball.

 _'I have no family anymore…and if I get anybody else, won't I just lose them too…?'_

Mikasa sighed again.

 _'The world is cruel…'_

Mikasa knew all her friends were worried, especially Armin who noticed her lack of eating and sleeping (well, nightmares made that last one kind of hard to help…) So every time he came over he'd make sure to cook something and feed it to her so she could stay alive, strong, and healthy. Armin was sad every time he looked at her…she hadn't smiled ever since that day from the month before.

See every time Mikasa tried to eat, she kept thinking back to having to witness her last bit of family get eaten just a few weeks ago, so she often lost her appetite. She wasn't trying to starve herself, she doesn't want to die yet, she just couldn't have an appetite with that image repeating in her head.

"Eren…why'd you have to leave me…?"

That night Mikasa woke up screaming. For hours she had been tossing and turning in her sleep, with tears streaming down her cheeks as more nightmares kept coming, until it was just too much.

She knew that no one would come comfort her because of living all alone, so she was just left to sob to herself.

This ever growing grief was so powerful that it was ripping her apart inside, and was very much affecting her real health.

Mikasa felt like the nine year old girl she once was. Sad, alone, and with nothing. But this time it was a thousand times worse.

Actually, she had been thinking about her younger self for a while. Although it didn't stay that way for long, she was an orphan with no where left to go once. She knew what it felt like to have no family.

After a long while of crying to herself, Mikasa walked outside. The sun had barely begun rising, and reflected beautifully on the beautiful water outside her doors.

The ocean.

The beautiful sunlight gave the water a pinkish orange color. The waves were small, nothing that could possibly reach high enough to reach over her head.

Mikasa just stood at the edge of it, her heart feeling so empty as she stared at the water that stretched out before her.

 _'Today is just like every day before…I continue to move, continue to breathe, to survive, but I just can't stop feeling so…empty. I wish I didn't have to feel so much pain and heartache…'_

She had everything she ever wanted. A house for her family, room for the garden she had always wanted (because her parents were gardeners too, but she never mentioned that wish to anyone,) living out of the way of everyone else in a peaceful quiet land, but the one thing she was missing…

Was the family that went with it.

And as Mikasa's lonely days continued, she wondered if she'd ever be happy again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: One of the biggest decisions she ever made**

 _ **Just so you know, adoptions going to be different in the SNK world than the real world. I mean, Eren brought a girl he just met home without having to even ask authority or sign anything! So in this world, adoption shouldn't be too hard.**_

Three months later…

Armin, Jean, Connie, Sasha, and even Hanji and Levi were all gathered at a table. Armin had a piece of paper with a writing utensil, and about three books in arms.

Armin stood up and said, "Okay everyone. You all know why we're here. We have been all working very hard to take care of Mikasa, and we all know that she's in pain. I thank you all for taking the time just to help, it really means a lot to both me and her. What I'd like to ask everyone is…have you seen any _good_ improvements?"

Everyone shook their heads, and mumbled things like, "She's getting quieter, and seems to get more depressed every time we see her…"

Armin sighed sadly. He was trying to help her, but her sadness was getting horrible and really eating her up inside. She had lost a big part of her life, and this having been the second time losing her family, it had hit her even harder than last time. Armin had been going over often, cooking her meals, and making sure she ate them, because she seemed to have lost a lot of her appetite after watching the person she deeply loved getting eaten in front of her.

It was ironic that the one person she protected the most was the person that she couldn't stop from losing.

"Okay guys…thank you…" Armin said.

After the meeting, Armin headed to Mikasa's house. It wasn't too far away, so he got there very quickly. Before knocking, he glanced over at the beautiful ocean, and felt a surge of sadness at knowing why she moved there. It was the place Eren always loved, and living there probably brought back happy memories of his young age obsession with the water.

Armin snapped out of thought, and turned back to the door, giving it a knock.

"Mikasa! It's Armin!"

After a few minutes of no answer, he tried again.

"Mikasa? It's me!"

Still no reply. That brought terrible worry. He knocked more frantically.

"Mikasa!"

When she didn't answer, he tried opening the door. It was unlocked.

He quickly rushed through the whole house, finding no one. He assumed she had to have left then. She must've forgotten to lock the door. He didn't blame her. She had a lot on her mind.

Historia was at her orphanage. Usually, she was too busy to come, but she had somehow found the time. She loved going there…she knew all the kids by heart, and loved them all. The sad thing was that no one ever seemed to want to adopt them, so more and more began to crowd up.

That's when she heard someone come through the gate. Historia turned, but who she found standing there was unexpected.

"M-Mikasa!" Historia said, shocked. She had clear tear stains, looked pale, tired, and had dark shadows under her eyes, but despite looking so tired, her face softened at the sight of Historia.

"Hey, Historia," Mikasa said, her voice slightly hoarse.

"Are you okay, Mikasa? You look tired," Historia said.

"I didn't get much sleep…that's all…" Mikasa said.

"Well, what are you doing here? I haven't seen you here in forever, and it's surprising for you to just randomly show up…" Historia said.

Mikasa pulled her scarf over her nose, looked Historia straight in the eyes, and said as the wind blew her hair to the side slightly, "I want to adopt."

Historia blinked a few times, positive that she must've heard her wrong because there's no way Mikasa could've said what she just heard, and asked, "Wait, what did you say?"

"I…I want to adopt," Mikasa said.

Saying Historia was surprised was an understatement.

"R…Really?"

Mikasa nodded her head, looking at the ground.

"I want to adopt…I…I've always wanted a child, and…I…" Mikasa's voice cracked as she finished with, "I don't have my family anymore."

"…I…Um…wow…well, first look around, let me know if you're interested in any…and…uh…I'll tell you a bit about them. Whoever you choose…uh…you'll have to sign some papers for, and well…I'll let you know about what goes on next after that," Historia said.

"Thank you," Mikasa said, beginning to walk away, but Historia caught her arm first.

"Mikasa…I want you to know, that…I think you're much stronger than I have ever been," Historia said.

Mikasa, surprised at her words, whispered another quiet, "Thank you…" and walked away.

Over the last few months, Mikasa had been thinking a lot about how when she had nothing left, Eren took her in, and gave her a home. Mikasa kept thinking about how nice it was to have a home, and how loved she had felt there.

Mikasa had also been dwelling on the fact that she was very lonely. Her whole life she had secretly wanted children, and also been told countless times how 'motherly' she is.

She kept thinking about the fact that there are sad, family-less children, who, just like Mikasa, were lonely. They all needed a home, and Mikasa had decided after a long while that she was going to adopt.

She was thinking about two, since she knew how nice it was to have someone around your age to talk to in the family.

Mikasa walked around, as Historia let them all know she was there. Mikasa already knew some of them from volunteering to help every once in a while, so they were pretty comfortable around her.

This one, very small girl, with long red hair tied up in pigtails, and big sparkling blue eyes, caught Mikasa's attention. She was out where no one could really see her, and three other kids that were bigger than her, were surrounding her, fists out.

"You were the one who stole our food, right?" this one boy with black hair asked.

"No I didn't! I swear I didn't!" she said, backing into a wall.

"Look, we know you did, so don't you pretend you didn't!" this one blond haired girl said, and they all nodded.

"I didn't! I didn't!" she said, and a white haired girl, punched her in the face, causing her to fall to the ground and curl into a ball.

Now this girl was like five or six, and these attackers were about nine or eight, making this a very unfair fight. Mikasa began walking over, but someone beat her to it.

"Hey! Leave Azabell alone!" a boy around the same age as the attackers, with dark brown hair, and captivating brown eyes, said charging toward them. They all ran off, and he knelt by her side quickly.

"Are you okay Azabell? Your cheek is bruised!" The boy said worriedly, gently touching her shoulder.

He helped her up. He made a frustrated growl and said, "Those jerks have some nerve to attack someone younger than them! Now let's hurry and tell Historia, okay? I don't know how bad your cheek is!"

He grabbed her hand, and the two began walking together. Mikasa swore she saw Azabell smile and whisper a 'Thank you…'

"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times; don't stray too far from me, you always get yourself in trouble!" he said.

"Zacky…!" Azabell said, annoyed, with that cute little girl voice.

"But if you're gonna pick fights, make sure that I'm there to kick their butts! Oh, and don't get hurt! I don't like seeing you scared, or seeing you cry," Zackary said with a pout.

Those kids brought back hundreds of memories of when Eren and her were younger and had to save Armin all the time. Mikasa actually thought that those memories were both sad and sweet at the exact same time, and let out a sigh of pure emotion.

She loved how worried that little boy looked though, and how soft he was. That reminded her of how protective she was of Eren. But she also liked the fire in his eyes. It was something that Eren had too, and although could cause trouble, it kept him moving forward throughout his years.

But she also liked the look he gave her when talking. It wasn't only protective, it also showed how much he treasured her, even though he was older than her, he didn't _really_ get annoyed at her. He was trying to lighten her mood, and make her smile. That's somebody that Mikasa could admire.

She liked how easily that girl accepted his protection though. She didn't complain about it, and seemed actually used to it. This was signs of a stable friendship, and trust, and that made the two even more interesting.

Mikasa walked around for a few more hours, figuring that she had pretty much made up her mind, after examining and talking to many kids, when she spotted something in the distance.

Underneath a shady tree at the farthest corner of the yard, all alone, was a little girl with black hair flowing in the wind. She looked about ten or eleven, was holding a red notebook, and had beautiful emerald eyes that had tears streaming out of them. Any kid who walked by paid no attention to her.

She began walking over and two older kids she passed by were having a conversation, "That's the mute girl over there, beneath the tree…"

"I heard she punched a guy today because he was making fun of her…he said that no one would ever adopt her or love her…"

"Really? Wow…"

"Yeah, then he lost his temper and kicked her into a puddle…"

She walked faster. This stuff was personal, and Mikasa shouldn't be hearing it. That's what Mikasa knew.

When she got to the girl, she quickly wiped her tears away, and hid behind her notebook.

That's when she saw that the little girl was shivering, and noticed just how cold it was getting. It was almost winter after all.

"Hi. I'm Mikasa Ackerman. I was looking around, and saw that you were all alone," Mikasa said gently, kneeling by her.

The young girl glanced up at her, and another shiver went down her spine as she shivered once again.

"May I know what your name is?" Mikasa asked, softly. The girl flipped to a page in her book, and showed Mikasa.

It said, **'Ashtei.'**

"Nice to meet you Ashtei," Mikasa said. "How old are you?"

She held up another page.

 **'11.'**

The sun began to set, as the young girl shivered ever so harder.

"Are you cold?" Mikasa asked.

Ashtei nodded.

That's when Mikasa made one of the biggest decisions of her life. Slowly, carefully, she unraveled the very soft, worn out, warm, maroon materiel from her neck.

 _'Eren…you said you'd wrap me up in this again and again forever…but now…_

 _I'm giving it to someone who needs it more than I do right now. Now, I'm passing that promise onto someone else. Thank you for everything. Thank you…'_

Slowly, gently, Mikasa wrapped the scarf over this girl's neck and ended up covering right over her mouth and nose.

Ashtei looked surprised.

"You can have it. It's warm…isn't it?" Mikasa asked, feeling two tears slip down her face as she asked.

Ashtei's cheeks turned pink, and she nodded.

She wrote down in her notebook, **'It is…it really is…'**

And Mikasa had come to the choice of who she wanted in her family.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Mikasa's new family**

 _ **So to whoever has actually read this far…thank you! It means a lot to me, since this is emotionally hard to write! The hardest part so far has to be towards the end of chapter 2. Well, anyway, thanks guys, and please enjoy the chapter!**_

The next day, Armin had gone to Mikasa's door again, but this time she left a note on the front door.

 _'Armin –I'm really busy right now, so I might not be home all the time for the next week or two. Don't worry, I've been cooking on my own, so you don't have to worry about any of that. I'm making some big decisions right now, and need time to think. I have a lot to tell you, but I'd like to do that in person. I hope you understand. Please don't worry about me. –Mikasa'_

That quite surprised Armin. What was she doing that could possibly keep her away from home a lot? Also, what could she possibly want to tell him? And she had a lot to think about? Like what?

All the worst case scenarios were going to his head, but he wouldn't think like that. She sounded pretty good, actually better than normal, so it's probably something good going on.

So he waited, and after about a week, he went to check on her. She wasn't home again, so he waited a little longer.

He came back once more after two weeks, and what he found was a new note. He was getting a little more concerned now.

 _'Armin –I know that there's a huge chance that you're able to read this because you came back to check on me. But would you gather everyone, and take bring them here? I have something very important to show you –Mikasa.'_

Armin was relieved that he finally was going to know what's going on, but extremely curious about the gathering thing. This seemed like it would be something really big, and lately Mikasa had been unpredictable.

Nothing could've prepared him for this surprise though.

He got Sasha, Connie, Levi, Hanji, and Jean to all come. Armin knocked, and they heard a _'Just a minute!'_ on the other side of the door. They also heard a lot of other strange things.

"Where'd Ashtei go, bubba?" a female voice said on the other side of the door.

"Mom~! Ashtei disappeared again!" a male voice said.

"Okay, just a minute, she's probably in the basement again. You two stay right there. Ashtei, they're here!" Mikasa's voice could be heard yelling into some other room.

"Alright, she's coming u- Azabell! That's for after dinner! Okay guys, now don't go anywhere. Their coming in. Are you alright with that Ashtei? Okay good."

Mikasa opened the door, her silky, still very short hair flowing around her face. Two things surprised Armin and everyone else about her, though. First…

She was smiling. Not a very big, full on smile, but a little smile. It had to be the best thing Armin had seen all day. Well, until he got to see the inside of her house, but still.

The second most surprising thing was the fact that she wasn't wearing her scarf, which made everyone very, very, surprised. Mikasa had done it before, sure, but the thing was, since Eren passed away, she had a hard time getting it out of her sight without tears filling her eyes. It was something that gave her strength to keep going.

"Mikasa…you're smiling!" Armin exclaimed.

"Yeah! And where's your scarf?!" Sasha asked.

"What was all those voices? Who's in there?" Jean asked.

"Um…well…here's the thing…" Mikasa began. They all quieted down to here her.

"I have done a lot of thinking these last few months, and I've been quite depressed…but that's when I came to a decision, and it was all my choice, but please don't freak out…" Mikasa stepped aside.

Standing behind her, was a little girl with a purple dress, her beautiful red hair put into pigtails, and her eyes so sparkly blue it was just like the ocean.

Holding her hand was a boy with messy dark brown hair, chocolate brown eyes, and a green and blue shirt.

Next to him was a girl with short black hair, beautiful forest green eyes, a light red dress, a notebook in arms, and most shocking of all, an old maroon scarf wrapped carefully around her neck and face, and covered most of the bottom side of her face, but what did show was all blushing pink.

"Mikasa…what is this…?" Armin asked.

"This is my daughter Azabell Juana Ackerman. She's five years old," Mikasa said, gesturing to the red head.

"This is my son Zackary Ackerman. He's eight years old," she said gesturing to the brunette.

"This is my daughter Ashtei Ackerman. She's eleven years old, and doesn't speak. She knows how to talk, and can understand. She uses her notebook to communicate," Mikasa said, looking fondly at the black haired girl.

"D…daughters? S…son?" Jean said in surprise.

"Wait…wait…just one second…wh-a-at?!" Connie said, wide eyed.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, WAIT! So you…you…adopted kids?!" Sasha exclaimed, looking in a mix of shock and excitement.

"Mikasa…when did you decide you wanted…?" Armin trailed off, but with a smile forming on his face.

"They…they…THEY ARE SO CUTE!" Hanji exclaimed, running right up to them, and squealing like a little girl.

"So…you got noisy brats of your own now, huh?" Levi said, but his mouth uplifted just a little. Not a smile…but moved just a little.

Ashtei slid behind Mikasa's legs, and peeked out just a sminch to see everyone.

Sasha saw Azabell sneak a pastry while Mikasa was busy talking to Armin, and Sasha poked her. Azabell looked not sure what to do or say, but then Sasha whispered, "I wanna have one too!"

Jean was having a hard time processing what was going on. He was so shocked, more shocked than the rest, especially the fact that the person he had a crush on for years, had just adopted kids.

Suddenly, he got a snapped out of his thoughts when little paper wad hit his chest. It fell to the ground, and he kneeled down and picked it up.

He unwrickled it, and it said, **"My name is Ashtei. What's yours?"**

Jean turned and looked at the 11 year old, hiding right behind Mikasa.

"You're talking to…me?" Jean asked. Ashtei nodded shyly.

"I'm…I'm Jean," Jean said. Ashtei wrote quickly in her notebook.

 **"Will you be my friend?"**

Jean couldn't help himself. He smiled ever so slightly, and nodded his head in reply.

Mikasa quickly realized that Azabell, Sasha, and Connie had disappeared.

"Armin, will you watch the kids here? I have to go find Azabell…" Mikasa said. Armin smiled, and nodded. Mikasa and Armin had been talking for a few minutes now, and Armin actually didn't think that this was crazy, or weird. It was actually good for her to get so much new family at once. Armin definitely knew that she had already grown incredibly fond of them, especially if she was strong enough to give one her scarf.

Zackary ran up to Armin, and tugged his shirt. Armin looked down and smiled at him.

"Hey mister! Why do you have a book?"

"I carry one around a lot, just in case I need one. Oh, and you can call me Armin."

"Okay then, Armin! Can you…um…read to me?" he asked, and Armin nodded. Zackary's face light up in excitement.

"I actually brought a book of fairytales, which I guess was a good call, huh?" Armin said, sitting onto a chair and opening the book.

After, Mikasa came walking back in, dragging Sasha, Connie, and Azabell right in tow.

"They ate practically everything they could grab…" Mikasa said, sighing. That's when Hanji walked over and smiled.

"Hello!" Azabell said.

Hanji knelt down, patted Azabell's head, and said with the biggest smile, "Well, I would let her if it meant I got to see that smile again!"

Azabell giggled.

Meanwhile, Jean and Ashtei had been talking. Jean had already taken a liking to Ashtei. She was quiet, but really sweet. Right now, Ashtei was trying to choose a favorite color. Apparently, she had never thought about it before. What Ashtei chose, was brown.

Levi had just been sitting on the sidelines, watching, when Azabell ran up to him.

"Hey there!"

"What do you want, brat?" Levi asked.

"How old are you? Old right? You look old. Anyway, you're short! Really short for your age," she said.

Levi raised his eyebrow at her.

"Also, you have weird hair! Why are the sides shorter than the rest?" Azabell asked. Levi didn't answer.

"Azabell! Azabell! Next time I come we should plan out how to break into that one locked cupboard!" Sasha whispered the last part so quietly, Mikasa couldn't even tell what she said.

"Maybe we could get Connie to help!" Azabell exclaimed. That's when she hugged them both.

Mikasa stood back and looked at everyone. Hanji was trying to convince Levi to talk to them, Jean, and Ashtei talking in the corner of the room, Azabell in a group hug with Sasha and Connie, and Armin reading stories to Zackary.

Mikasa smiled.

 _'Eren…look at how big my family is…I got three kids! You would love them…I miss you Eren. I don't think that feeling will ever truly go away. But…I'm a mom. I have a family that loves me. I'm starting again, Eren…for the second time in my life I'm having a new family. And I'm not afraid this time…You're what's pushing me forward. Thank you. I'll never let them all down. I promise.'_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Their second day at the Ackerman household**

Mikasa woke up. It wasn't a natural wake, was actually quite different than her usual wake from nightmares. Actually, she didn't even have nightmares that time, which was very surprising, due to the fact that she had been having nightmares for quite some time now, even before Eren passed away.

It was still sunrise though, since over the years in the military, she got used to waking up early. Mikasa got up, walked out of her room, and peeking into her kids rooms. First she checked Azabell, and was quite surprised to see she wasn't there. But it was quick learned where she disappeared to, when she looked into Zackary's room. She was curled up into his chest, and the two were sleeping soundly. That brought a small smile to Mikasa's face.

Mikasa walked over to Ashtei's room, but she didn't find her there. She walked out into the living room, and there she was, her scarf wrapped around her neck, as she gazed at the sunrise over the ocean.

"Good morning, Ashtei," Mikasa said.

Ashtei wrote down in her notebook, **"** **Good morning."**

"Are you hungry? I can start making breakfast," Mikasa said. Ashtei smiled and nodded.

Mikasa walked over to the kitchen, and checked in her cupboards to see what she had. She began pulling out things she could use, when she got a tug on her sleeve.

Mikasa looked down at Ashtei, who blushed, and held up her notebook that said, **"** **Thank you for the scarf…"**

Mikasa felt a warm feeling in her chest, and gave Ashtei a smile. Mikasa took a deep breath.

"You know…that used to belong to someone else before me," Mikasa said. Ashtei looked interested.

"His name was…Eren. Eren Jaeger. He gave me a home when I had none, and gave me that scarf. He…he was everything to me. For years I protected him from everything that could harm him, and stood by his side. He…he's gone now though…" Mikasa said, chopping up some bread.

After a second, she was poked gently by Ashtei. When she looked down, she felt tears form in her eyes.

 **"** **Did you love him?"**

Mikasa nodded very slowly.

"I don't think I've stopped loving him," Mikasa said quietly, a single tear going down her cheek.

Mikasa continued making breakfast, when she paused to go check on the other kids once again. When she looked in their room, she noticed that Azabell was missing from the bed, which was peculiar, until she walked back into the kitchen and saw her eating sweets.

She looked over at her guiltily, and Mikasa said, "Azabell, you can't just have those first thing in the mo-"

Azabell had tears in her eyes as she interrupted, and said in the cutest voice, "I woke up, and smelled food in the kitchen! I didn't want to get in your way though…so I waited until you left to go in! But then I saw that the deserts were wide open, and I've been craving sweets, so I couldn't stop myself…Please don't be mad…! I'm sorry, I don't want you to be angry at me, I-"

"Azabell, I'm not mad," Mikasa said softly. Azabell stared in surprise.

"R…really?" Azabell asked.

"Of course not. It's just unhealthy to eat sweets before meals," Mikasa said.

Azabell looked super relieved.

"Unnnnn…what's going on out here?" Zackary asked, rubbing his eyes and walking out.

"BUBBA! You're awake!" Azabell exclaimed, lunging on him, and giving him a huge hug.

"Umph! Azabell, I've told you not to do that first thing in the morning! You almost knock me over every time!" Zackary complained, but he had a smile.

"But Bubba…!"

Ashtei walked over, and held up a paper that said, **"** **Can we go outside later?"**

Mikasa nodded quietly. After a few minutes, Mikasa said, "Okay, breakfast is ready!"

They all sat down around a table, and Mikasa couldn't hold back a sad smile.

 _'I finally have people to make this house not so empty anymore…'_

"Hey Mom?"

Mikasa turned to look at her son.

"Why were you living alone in such a big house?"

Ashtei hit his shoulder. She knew the answer.

"What? What'd I say?"

Mikasa sighed in sadness, and said, "I didn't used to live alone…I only lived alone for a few months before I got you."

"May I…ask who you were living with?" Azabell asked.

"His name was Eren Jaeger…he was everything I ever needed at the time…he's gone now though…" Mikasa said, looking down sadly.

"Oh…"

"But now I have you," Mikasa said, smiling slightly.

Everybody finished eating, and got ready to go outside.

"Okay kids…before going outside, I want you to know that you can't go into the water. It's winter, so it should be freezing out there. I don't want you getting sick."

Azabell seemed to flinch at the word 'Sick.'

"Also, if you want to go back inside, please tell me, okay? Alright, let's go," Mikasa said, walking out the front door. They all followed.

Azabell grabbed Zackary's hand, and said while dragging him, "Come on! Let's go build a castle out of sand!"

Mikasa watched as she dragged him toward the water, and felt very happy that she adopted these kids.

Ashtei began walking toward a nearby tree, and sat down against it, opening her notebook, and beginning to write and draw in it.

Mikasa sat down on the steps of her house, and watched as the sand castle that they made got hit by a wave and washed over.

Mikasa kept thinking back to her parents. She may not have had them most of her life, but they were everything to her at the time. She looked up to them like they were angels, and her heart broke when they were gone. But then she had Carla and Grisha, who of course, could never replace her parents, but were very good mother and father figures. She was scared to get too close to them in fear of losing them too and getting hurt again, but it didn't work.

The point is that Mikasa, just like her parents, had the selfish need to be like the world to these kids. She wanted them to look up to her with trust and love, and to be the one that they needed the most. She felt so selfish to want that, but she truly did.

She just wanted a loving family like the times before. But this time, she didn't want to lose them again. It would hurt too much.

Mikasa sighed, and looked down at her hands. She hoped that she didn't ever say or do anything that hurt these children.

That's when Mikasa got a poke on the arm. She turned, and there was Ashtei.

Ashtei held up a piece of paper. It was a beautiful drawing of the ocean. She carefully ripped it out of the notebook and handed it to Mikasa. On the back, it said, **"** **It's yours."**

Mikasa smiled, whispered, "It's beautiful…thank you…" and hugged Ashtei. Ashtei's eyes widened in surprise, but quickly relaxed into her embrace. Her cheeks turned red, and she closed her eyes, savoring this moment.

When she finally pulled away, Ashtei wrote something in her notebook, and turned with tears in her eyes. She held it up.

 **"** **Thank you for adopting and wanting me."**

Mikasa's eyes widened, and opened her mouth to speak, but Ashtei ran off before she could say anything.

Mikasa sat there in shock. That was not what she was expecting. Mikasa got up and was about to go to Ashtei, but was stopped when Azabell tugged on her shirt.

Mikasa looked down at her, and she said with tears in her eyes, "Quick! Bubba stepped on a shell!"

Mikasa's eyes widened, and she said to her, "Please go get Ashtei! We're going inside for a little while, okay? I'll go get Zackary!"

Azabell nodded and ran off. Mikasa rushed over to Zackary, and looked at his foot. It had a cut that was bleeding. She gave him a piggy back ride to the house, and Azabell came in with Ashtei.

Mikasa set him on the couch. She ran into the other room and began digging through her cupboards for medicine and a bandage. She ran back with them, and applied the medicine onto his cut before wrapping his foot up.

"Make sure not to take this off unless I need to change the bandage, okay?" Mikasa said, touching his cheek gently. Zackary nodded quietly.

Mikasa turned and shot a worried look at Ashtei. She had her face buried in her scarf and seemed to be avoiding her gaze. There were obviously tears in her eyes, and her breathing seemed to be slightly hitched.

Mikasa was, once again, going to go talk to her, but that's when Azabell grabbed her hand and said, "I'm hungry~!"

"You just ate. How about waiting a little while for lunch?" Mikasa asked.

"But I'm hungry-y-y! I want food!" Azabell said with a pout. How could Mikasa refuse that look?

"Okay, okay…"

Mikasa walked over to the kitchen, and began preparing a meal. Her mind kept wandering back to Ashtei though.

Mikasa knew pretty much what happened to everyone's parents in this family, except Ashtei. The workers at the orphanage had told her what they know, but Ashtei hadn't ever told them what had happened to her. All they knew was that when they found her, she had said she had no parents, and was living in the underground city.

But the point was, Mikasa had no idea what kind of trauma she had been through.

She gave Azabell a sandwich, and Azabell smiled widely. Mikasa turned to Ashtei, but as soon as she opened her mouth, Ashtei ran into her room, slammed the door shut, and locked it.

Mikasa felt a surge of sadness and disappointment, but figured she needed some space.

That's when Azabell said with her mouth full, "Mamma! Mamma!"

Mikasa looked down at her. Azabell swallowed her food, then said while blushing, "Can you do my hair…? I don't know how to put it in pigtails…Zacky usually does it for me…"

Zackary looked embarrassed at that last part.

"Well, what I'm supposed to do, watch my little sister cry?"

Mikasa smiled lovingly, patted her head gently, and said softly, "Of course."

Azabell's face lit up.

Mikasa grabbed a brush and her two bows. The two sat at the couch, and Mikasa began brushing her hair carefully. She had very soft hair, and it was quite easy to get any tangles out. Mikasa then parted her hair into two sections, and tied them up.

"There," Mikasa said. Azabell smiled, and gave Mikasa a bone crushing hug.

"Thank you, Mamma…I love you."

Mikasa's eyes widened at the last part.

 _'Did she just…did she just say she loves me?"_

Mikasa's eyes teared up as she pulled her closer, and said as she clamped her eyes shut, "I love you too."

Ashtei was sitting on her bed. She couldn't believe herself.

 _'Why avoid her…? She's your new mom after all…you can't stay away forever…'_

Ashtei put her face in her hands.

 _'If I keep this up, she'll hate me…'_

Ashtei felt tears stream down her face.

 _'I just want her to love me…I don't want to be alone all over again…'_

She looked at her scarf.

 _'I don't deserve this…I don't deserve anything from her…I don't deserve her…she's too kind to me, and I just…just…'_

Ashtei curled into herself.

 _'The world is so cold…'_

Ashtei wasn't sure how long she was sitting there, but at some point she got a knock on the door.

"Ashtei…I have your lunch if you're hungry…you can come out whenever, okay? I'll be waiting…"

 _'She hasn't given up on me…why? Usually people give up getting close to me…heck, they never even get far enough to want to adopt me…so why?'_

Ashtei looked at her warm maroon scarf.

 _'Why?'_

Mikasa was eating with Zackary and Azabell (who was hungry AGAIN even though it only had been about thirty minutes…) and kept glancing worriedly at Ashtei's door.

Mikasa desperately hoped she'd come out soon.

Azabell finished her meal, looked at Mikasa and asked, "Can Bubba and I go out back?"

Mikasa thought about it, and replied with, "Yes, just be careful and make sure Zackary doesn't put too much pressure on his foot; we don't want him bleeding again."

Azabell smiled widely, grabbed Zackary's hand, and began dragging him away, ignoring him when he said, "I'm not done with lunch yet!"

As soon as they went outside, Mikasa sat down on her couch with a sigh.

This mothering stuff was so much harder than she thought it would be. She leaned back and put a hand on her forehead. She had so many mixed feelings, and was so worried for Ashtei.

Mikasa sat there thinking for a little while, all the way up until Azabell and Zackary came back in, around sunset.

"Mamma! Mamma!" Azabell exclaimed, running up to Mikasa with Zackary.

Mikasa looked at them.

"We picked these for you!" Azabell exclaimed, pulling out a bunch of blue flowers that only grew around winter time. Mikasa's eyes lit up as she took them, and Mikasa couldn't help herself. She blushed.

"Th…thank you…" Mikasa said, feeling as though her heart just melted.

Azabell looked so proud of herself at the look on Mikasa's face.

"Although...I'm hungry again!" Azabell exclaimed.

"Azabell! Don't give gifts than ask for a favor!" Zackary said.

Mikasa shook her head with a smile, and said, "It's fine. I'll get started on dinner."

Mikasa began working on dinner, which was stew. After it was finished, Mikasa served it to Azabell and Zackary.

She went to Ashtei's door and said, "I know you want some time on your own, but I just want you to know that there's dinner out here, and we're all worried. _I'm_ worried. Just know you can always come to me for anything."

Mikasa walked away, and got herself some dinner as well.

After eating, Azabell and Zackary ran off to play, and Ashtei still made no appearance. Mikasa sat down on the couch, and picked up a book to read. She was truly worried for this girl.

 _'She must be so hungry… is she okay in there? She looked in so much pain…'_

Mikasa snapped out of her thoughts when Zackary ran up to Mikasa and announced, "Azabell fell asleep on the floor."

Mikasa smiled slightly, while following Zackary to the place she was asleep. Mikasa lifted her up carefully, and tucked her into bed, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead before leaving and shutting the door behind her.

"Well, I guess I should go to bed too…I am pretty tired," Zackary said.

He gave Mikasa a hug and said softly, "Thank you for adopting me. I…I love you," then ran off before Mikasa could say anything. But Mikasa got this warm feeling again, and suddenly realized that she was crying. But she didn't try to stop, just let her tears fall.

 _'I know you like to take away my family…but please leave these ones alone…'_ Mikasa thought, directing this to the world.

Mikasa turned off the lights before heading to her own bed. After lying there for about an hour, Mikasa felt a tug on her shirt. She turned to see…Ashtei.

She had tears in her eyes, and held up a paper that said, **'** **I'm sorry…I'm not trying to worry or hurt you. I've just never been loved by anyone before. Please forgive me. I can understand if you're upset with me…or don't want me anymore…'**

She hung her head in shame.

Mikasa asked softly, "Why would I ever be mad at you over this…?"

Ashtei's eyes widened in surprise, and wrote down in her notebook, **'** **You don't…hate me?'**

Mikasa looked shocked at that question. She got off bed, down onto her knees, and gave this girl a loving hug.

"Of course not."

Ashtei's tears released, but they were tears of relief. She rested her head in the crook of her neck and took one heavy breath.

When they pulled away, she opened her notebook and held it up.

 **"** **Thank you."**

Then wrote down something else, and held her notebook up with flushed cheeks.

 **'** **Can I sleep with you tonight?'**

Mikasa slowly nodded. Ashtei's face lit up.

The two climbed into bed, and Ashtei buried her head in Mikasa's chest.

 _'Eren…Today Azabell and Zackary told me they love me. I felt the most pleasurable feeling from those words…it meant that they accepted me as their family; not just their new mother. I know that I'm starting again, but you will always be on my mind.'_

After a long day, the two fell asleep thinking about their family, and how the two of them would never be alone ever again.


	5. Chapter 5

i **Chapter 5: When you're cold, I'll be there to warm you**

Mikasa woke up early that morning, as well as Ashtei, Azabell, and Zackary. They all woke up to the freezing cold house. It wasn't even sunrise yet, but they all came to Mikasa shivering.

"Mom…it's so cold…" Zackary said, his teeth chattering.

"Mamma…make the cold go away…" Azabell said.

Luckily, Mikasa had a fireplace. Unluckily, Mikasa had been so depressed lately, that she hadn't gathered any fire wood.

Mikasa sighed.

"Kids…I'm going to go right out back, okay? Don't go anywhere…"

They all nodded and Mikasa walked outside. She began gathering any sticks outside she could.

Mikasa didn't realize how much she was shivering until she looked at her hands. They were shivering so much, she looked as though she was trembling.

Mikasa felt a lot colder without her scarf after all…

When Mikasa got an armful, she began walking back to the house, but tripped on some rock and dropped them everywhere. She sighed, and began picking them right back up. She must've been taking forever. She needed to hurry up. She had freezing kids inside.

When she picked them all back up, she headed back to the house.

They all were waiting by the fireplace, and turned when Mikasa walked back in.

Mikasa put the wood in, and started the fire.

All the kids sat around with it along with Mikasa, and they sighed in relief.

"Thanks mom…"

"Thank you mamma!"

 **"** **Thank you."**

Mikasa shook her head.

"It was nothing…"

"Hey mamma? Now that we're all awake, could we maybe have…breakfast?" Azabell asked. Zackary sighed.

"Don't ask someone who just did work for a favor! You should be thankful for the fire!" Zackary said.

"But bubba~! I'm hungry!"

Mikasa smiled a little.

"No, it's okay. I'll make breakfast," Mikasa said. She walked over to the kitchen.

Mikasa walked began cutting some bread.

She actually was feeling really happy at this point to do anything that makes these kids smile. The loneliness had already faded, and Mikasa was grateful to have these kids as her family.

They had already become a huge part of her world, which was so empty before. And now she had these three, and had already pretty much established their personalities.

When she was done with toasting the bread, she put them on plates, and handed them to Ashtei, Azabell, and Zackary.

They all thanked her, and began eating.

All Mikasa could think was that these kids were everything she needed for now.

A week later…

Zackary was sick. He only had a slight fever, but Azabell seemed to take it horribly. She seemed more worried than Mikasa ever could've imagined. Azabell was constantly by his side, and didn't feel comfortable leaving it.

Mikasa knew why she was getting worked up over a fever though. She wasn't sure if anyone else knew though.

Meanwhile, the weather was growing ever so colder. Mikasa had to make sure she constantly had firewood on hand, and the kids often spent most of their day sitting by the fireplace.

But then, one day, snow hit, making it even harder to stay warm. Mikasa would cook a lot of warm drinks, making sure that they were warm enough and that instead of growing sicker, Zackary would begin to improve.

And luckily, he did begin improving. Azabell seemed to be relieved, but even though he wasn't as sick, she didn't let him do very much, and made him always rest.

But apparently her worry didn't stop her ever growing appetite, because Mikasa noticed that anything sweet in her house would quickly disappear.

Mikasa didn't mind though. She actually found it kind of cute how much this little girl ate.

But one day, all the kids were sleeping out in living room by the dying fire, curled up under a huge blanket, when Mikasa went to bed.

But she woke up to Azabell shaking her, tears streaming down her face, and hands trembling.

"Mamma…I had a nightmare…you died and I…I…"

She cried harder.

Mikasa lifted her into her bed, and wrapped her arms around the small girl. She pulled her to her chest, right over her heart.

"Do you hear that? That's my heartbeat. As long as my heart's beating, I'm alive. So don't worry…I'm right here," Mikasa whispered, but the next thought brought back a flood of memories and a tinge of sadness.

 _'But with it comes the fear of it stopping…'_

But those words seemed to comfort the young girl, for she closed her eyes, and whispered quietly, "It sounds…beautiful…"

Azabell slowly drifted back to sleep.

Mikasa closed her eyes, and rested her chin on her head. This girl seemed so small and innocent, something that Mikasa never wanted to go away.

She didn't want to see any of them cry; it broke her heart to see them sad. She wanted to hold them in her arms and shield them from anything that could hurt them.

Mikasa assumed that's what it meant to be a good mother. Mikasa could finally understand why some parents do what they do. And it broke her heart to know that she couldn't protect them from everything.

What she did know, was even though she can't stop them from falling down, she'd be there to catch them…and she'd never let go.

After about another week, the snow didn't leave, but it got just a little warmer. By then, Zackary wasn't sick anymore, and that earned him a bone crushing hug from Azabell.

"You're alright! You're alright!" She exclaimed in relief.

He returned the hug, and whispered, "Of course I am…did you think I'd die and leave you all alone? Not a chance."

Mikasa couldn't hold back the smallest smile. Those two never failed to bring back memories of Mikasa's childhood.

Mikasa suddenly realized that she was running low on food, (from a certain five year old…) but it was freezing, and the stores were far away.

That's when Mikasa got an idea.

"Kids, get your shoes on. We're going to go drop you off at someone's house for a little while. I have to go shopping for a little while, okay? Oh, and don't forget your coats!" Mikasa said. Azabell was having trouble getting her coat on, so Mikasa helped her.

"Is everyone ready? Okay, good. Let's go," Mikasa said. Azabell held Zackary's hand, and Zackary held Mikasa's. On Mikasa's other side, there was Ashtei clamping tightly onto her hand, her scarf pulled over her mouth.

Mikasa walked to the nearby house…well, more like a cabin. It was small, made completely of wood, and was sitting firmly in between a bunch of trees.

Mikasa walked up the steps, and knocked on the door.

Armin opened the door, and was quite surprised to see Mikasa and her family.

"Mikasa! What are you doing here?" Armin asked.

"I know it's short notice, but could you watch my family for a little while? I have to go shopping…we're almost out of food," Mikasa said, gesturing toward Azabell. Armin nodded with a smile.

"Of course, Mikasa."

"Thank you. Okay, you guys behave. I'll be back soon," Mikasa said, directing that mostly to Azabell.

They walked inside, and Mikasa gave them all a hug before leaving.

"Stay safe!"

Armin shut the door after waving to Mikasa.

"Well…if you guys need anything, let me know, okay?" Armin said smiling. Armin turned, but Zackary caught his sleeve. Armin turned back around.

"What is it?" Armin asked softly.

"Um…am I allowed to call you Uncle Armin?" Zackary asked, averting his eyes from Armin's gaze.

"Of course!" Armin said.

Zackary smiled and asked while twiddling his thumbs, "Then, um, can you read to me Uncle Armin?"

Armin smiled and nodded.

"Is there anything you want me to read? I have a lot of books…" Armin said, looking through his shelves of never ending books.

"Um…do you have any more fairytales?" Zackary asked.

"Actually, I have a lot of them from when I was younger," Armin said, "The question is, can I actually find them in these shelves…?"

Azabell was sitting next to Ashtei.

"Hey…why can't you talk? Can you just not, or what?" Azabell asked.

Ashtei pulled out her notebook to write an answer, but she didn't exactly know what to tell her.

 **'** **I think that I'm too scared to.'**

Azabell tilted her head in curiosity.

"Why are you scared of talking?"

She wrote down her reply.

 **'** **I don't know.'**

"So…you're scared and you don't know why?"

Ashtei hung her head, blushing in slight embarrassment that she didn't know how to explain, and nodded.

"I know that feeling. I mean, I'm scared of plenty of things and I don't know why! So don't be embarrassed!" Azabell said with a grin.

Ashtei looked up and held up her notebook that said, **'** **Really?'**

Azabell nodded. She then grabbed Ashtei's hand and pulled her up.

"Now C'mon big sissy! Let's go play!" Azabell said.

Ashtei's eyes widened, before her cheeks turned red in happiness, with the slightest smile.

 _'She called me "big sissy…"_

They were there for a few hours before Mikasa came back. They actually didn't want to go home.

"Aww! I don't wanna leave Uncy Armin!" Azabell complained.

"Yeah!" Zackary chimed in.

Ashtei nodded while blushing. Just a moment before Mikasa showed up, Armin had called her pretty.

"Well, I have food, so we should get home, and you guys can come back some other time, okay? Sorry for bothering you, Armin," Mikasa said.

Armin shook his head.

"It wasn't a bother at all. Bring them back anytime," Armin said. Mikasa smiled lightly.

"Thank you, Armin."

Suddenly, she seemed to have remembered something, turned around, and asked Armin something quietly.

Armin nodded.

"Of course Mikasa."

"Thank you."

She grabbed her kid's hands.

"Come on. We gotta go home now."

They all waved goodbye to Armin, and walked out.

"Look! It stopped snowing! Mamma! Mamma! Can we play outside after dinner?" Azabell asked.

Mikasa nodded.

Azabell smiled widely in excitement.

"Yay! I can't wait!"

Mikasa felt a warm feeling in her chest at Azabell's smile. She couldn't believe they had been living with her for exactly two weeks and two days now. Time was going by too fast.

Mikasa hoped they didn't grow up too quickly.

Mikasa began working on dinner, when Ashtei walked up to Mikasa and poked her arm slightly. Mikasa looked over, and Ashtei blushed before holding up her notebook.

 **"** **Do you know how to sew? If you do, can you teach me?"**

Mikasa felt her gaze soften, and she nodded.

"Of course."

Ashtei's cheeks turned redder as she held up her notebook.

 **"** **Thank you, Mom."**

Ashtei walked away, and Mikasa felt her heart melt.

 _'That was the first time she's called me her Mom…'_

Mikasa finished making dinner, and everyone sat around to eat.

"Hey Mamma? What's that bandage around your arm?" Azabell asked.

Mikasa suddenly realized what she was asking about, and felt a surge of sadness at the memory of one certain day when she got that wrapped around her.

"Oh, that's…that's covering something my parents gave me. Apparently, it runs in the family," Mikasa said, gazing softly at the bandages on her arm.

Azabell's face lit up.

"Do I get to have one someday? I'm family!" Azabell asked. Mikasa's eyes widened at the last part, and she had a surge of happiness.

 _'She just said she's in the family…'_

Mikasa nodded.

"But not until you're older."

Azabell looked excited at that.

"Yay! I can't wait, Mamma!" Azabell said, swallowing her food before throwing her arms around Mikasa. Mikasa wrapped her arms around her lovingly, and couldn't stop the growing of warmth in her chest.

These kids had gained a special place in her heart in a very quick time. She couldn't believe how quick she had adopted these kids; she wasn't even quite sure she was going to follow through adoption, but she did, and it went by very quickly.

It was like a whole new world.

Azabell pulled back, smiled again, then said, "Since I'm done, can we go outside?"

Mikasa nodded, and Azabell said in excitement, "I'll go get my coat!"

"Don't forget about me!" Zackary got up, and ran off to get his own coat.

Mikasa looked over at Ashtei, who smiled slightly before getting up and following them.

Mikasa went to get her own coat, pulling the brown materiel over her head, and slipping her arms into the soft materiel.

Azabell ran up to Mikasa, grabbing her hand, and said, "C'mon! C'mon! Hurry up!"

Mikasa got a cold chill when she pulled her outside and the wind hit her face.

She looked around. Not a single bit of sand was visible underneath all the snow.

"Mamma! Mamma! Let's build a snow fort!" Azabell said, dragging her down the steps and into the snow that went all the way up to Azabell's chest.

"Azabell! You keep leaving me behind!" Zackary yelled, catching up to Azabell. That's when he saw the ocean.

"Wow…it's all frozen!"

Mikasa looked over. He was right. Long, white, thick ice covered the ocean. The sunlight reflected off of it, making it look like it was glowing. It was a magical sight.

Azabell's eyes got big as her smile widened.

"It…it…it's beautiful!" she exclaimed, absolutely captivated.

Mikasa got her hand tugged, and looked over to see Ashtei.

"What is it?" Mikasa asked, kneeling down slightly.

Ashtei held up her notebook.

 **"** **I don't like the cold…"**

Mikasa nodded in understanding.

"I don't like the cold either."

Ashtei looked at her in surprise, and held up her notebook.

 **"** **Really?"**

Mikasa nodded.

"I have bad experience with the cold…"

She didn't know Ashtei's reason, but to Mikasa, it reminded her of the day she lost her family for the first time. When she had watched her parents die in front of her eyes, she felt her heart fall into the cold despair. But then _he_ came. He lifted her up to her feet, gave her strength to fight, then wrapped her up in warmth.

That is, until she watched him fall. That's when the cold came back, but this time even worse, shaking her all the way to the core, and leaving her falling down.

And she was still working on getting back onto her feet again.

Suddenly, something went whizzing by Mikasa's head, and hit Azabell in the face, knocking her over.

Azabell stood up, wiping snow off her face, and said angrily with her fists clenched, "Who threw that!?"

Mikasa and Azabell looked the direction of the snowball. There was Zackary, on the verge of laughter at the look on Azabell's face.

Azabell smiled evilly while scooping up snow in her hands, and throwing as hard as she could at Zackary. The snowball flew pathetically, and landed only about a foot in front of her.

Zackary had his arms around his chest, he was laughing so hard.

That's when Azabell into the house, exclaiming to Mikasa as she went, "I'll be right back!"

After a minute went by, Azabell came up behind Zackary from behind. Mikasa assumed she must've came from the back yard, and snuck behind Zackary.

Azabell suddenly held up a bucket full of snow, and dumped it on Zackary's head.

Zackary had never looked so surprised in his life. Azabell quickly ran, yelling behind her, "You started this! I declare this war!"

Zackary smiled darkly.

"She has just doomed herself! Ashtei! Help me build a fort please!"

Ashtei nodded, and began pushing snow.

Mikasa was very interested to see how this went. She decided she should go find where Azabell ran off to. She figured she was either in the front yard or the back.

When Mikasa had confirmed she wasn't in the front, she began heading to the back yard. She walked around, and when she passed by a tree, she was grabbed and pulled behind it.

"Aza-"

"SHH!" She said, putting a finger in front of Mikasa's mouth. Mikasa suddenly noticed dozens of snowballs around Azabell, and something drawn in the snow.

Mikasa knelt down, and asked quietly, "What is all this?"

Azabell looked at her and said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "My plan and stash #2 of weapons of course!"

Mikasa looked at all the snowballs, and asked her curiously, "Why…would you need this many snowballs? You have more than I can even count…you shouldn't need that many, right?"

Azabell sighed in exasperation.

"Didn't you hear? This is war! WAR! This could go on for days! Weeks! Months!" Azabell said.

"But…it couldn't actually go on for that long, right?" Mikasa asked, and knew that Azabell was quite serious from the look on her face.

"Actually, it could! This happens all the time when Zackary and I get into these kind of things! The longest it ever took to stop was two weeks, and that was when he decided to pour a bucket of water on my head while I was sleeping! But anyway…are you going to join my side, or not!?"

Mikasa really didn't want to take sides, but she assumed is she said no she would either be pelted with snowballs, or Ashtei and Zackary would gain up on Azabell and pelt her with snowballs instead.

Also, who was she to refuse her daughter's wish? There was nothing wrong with playing around with her kids a bit.

Mikasa nodded.

"I'll help, but if it get's late, you guys are going to bed, okay?"

Azabell smiled widely.

"Great! Now, you go over behind that tree and get ready for an ambush! Knowing Zackary, he will absolutely come alone to save Ashtei from any harm, and to make sure someone is keeping watch at base so it isn't taken over! So he should be here at any moment!"

Mikasa nodded. She kept thinking to herself, "This girl seems smarter than most kids her age…"

Mikasa went behind the tree Azabell instructed her to go to, and picked up one of her made snowballs. She knew that this was silly, but she thought that it might make her kids have fun.

And Mikasa also had the selfish want to spend more time with them. She hadn't told them yet, but next week she was going to be starting a job. She was running low on money, and had actually been looking for a job for a while, but they all didn't seem to want her.

Probably because they thought that since she had been depressed, she wasn't strong enough to stay healthy and continue working there.

Mikasa had gotten a job at a butchery, which was pretty ironic considering something she had said in the past;

 _"Slicing flesh is my specialty."_

Mikasa had asked Armin earlier if he'd watch the kids when she was at work. She was relieved when he had agreed, especially since the kids seemed to have taken a liking to him.

Mikasa was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard a figure in the distance. Azabell looked over at her, gave Mikasa a thumbs up, and mouthed, 'Now!'

The two grabbed their snowballs, looked out from behind the trees, and began throwing.

They had a direct hit. Zackary toppled over as the snowballs built up on him.

But it wasn't victory yet. Suddenly, Azabell and Mikasa was bombarded with snow, and it was coming from behind. After emerging from the snow on top of them, there was Ashtei, standing there with a snowball in hand.

She held up her notebook that said, **"** **Sorry."**

Zackary walked up to Azabell, looked her in the eyes, and said as his brown eyes sparkled, "I know you far too well, sister."

Azabell grumbled in defeat.

"…I surrender this time! ONLY this time! Next time, you'll be on your knees begging for forgiveness!" Azabell said, fire in her eyes.

Zackary smiled.

"I'll be looking forward to that. Don't let me down."

Azabell and Zackary shook hands.

"Deal!"

Mikasa couldn't help thinking that they were the cutest and weirdest kids she had ever met, then suddenly realized how low the sun was. Mikasa had to get these kids inside; she had never trusted the world, especially not at night because of the stories she's heard of what happens in the dark. Mikasa had actually never liked the night since young age, and that seemed to have never changed.

Mikasa grabbed their hands and began pulling them towards the house.

"It's time to go inside."

 _'Eren…today, I took time to play with my kids. They seem to be really curious about my life, and that isn't a bad thing, it's just hard talking about it without you. I wish you were here, but Eren, your death has lead me to these kids. No matter how much I wish you could've stayed, I know that nothing I could've ever done could prevent that. You would've left me in some other way. It was your time to leave, but it doesn't mean I will ever stop thinking about you, or talking about you.'_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: You are my sun that shines when the world grows dark**

This time, instead of having one of her peaceful awakenings, Mikasa woke up in tears. She was trembling, her hands on her head, and her eyes wide in terror.

Mikasa had just had one of the nightmares that she had very commonly. Even though it haunted her mind often, she had never gotten used to it, even after twelve years. Watching her father get stabbed by a knife in the chest…watching her mother get sliced in the head with an axe…it never failed to fill her with pain and fear.

Mikasa stumbled up, looking out the window. It wasn't even sunrise yet. Even if Ashtei wakes up early, she should still be sleeping at this time.

Still, Mikasa _had_ to get out of this room, the room that felt as though it was closing in on her. She needed to breathe.

When she opened her door, a blast of cold air hit her and sent shivers up her spine. Mikasa walked towards Azabell's room, and wasn't surprised to see she wasn't there. As expected, she was snuggling against a certain young, brown haired, eight-year-old. Mikasa let out a sigh at seeing them there. It seemed to be very comforting to see her children.

Then, she looked in Ashtei's room, and felt her heart skip a beat. Ashtei was tossing and turning in her sleep, and seemed to be breathing hard. She had tears streaming down her face, and seemed to be clenching her hands so hard, they were turning white. Mikasa was almost instantaneously by her side, stroking her in her sleep, and holding the sleeping girl.

Right on queue, the young girl's eyes snapped open, and she tensed. She didn't seem any calmer when she noticed it was Mikasa holding her.

That's when Ashtei suddenly realized how weak Mikasa was, and all the tears streaming down her face. Ashtei reached up, and gently wiped the tears on Mikasa's face worriedly.

Ashtei reached over to the table next to her bed, picked up her notebook, and wrote down something before turning it to Mikasa.

 **"** **Nightmares?"**

Mikasa gave her a sad smile as an answer, before pulling her back into her chest, and burying her face in her hair.

Ashtei felt warm in Mikasa's arms. Mikasa seemed to have that effect on people, but it meant more to Ashtei than most. Ashtei had really needed loving arms to fall into.

Ashtei felt herself cry unwillingly. She didn't like showing signs of weakness; she felt as though that was a way for someone to take advantage over her.

But she felt different when she was with Mikasa. She felt…she felt…

Safe.

Ashtei sunk into Mikasa's chest, wanting to just disappear, to lose all these emotions building up, to stop all this weakness spilling out of her, but she couldn't.

Her heart was too open right then. Her heart had been so empty for so long, that now she didn't want it to fill. She didn't want to get hurt from false hope.

Yet the two still sat there for hours, in each others arms, and letting all the feelings trapped within out through their sobs.

When they finally calmed, the sun had risen, and the two could hear talking out in the living room, showing that Azabell and Zackary were up.

Mikasa got up and pulled Ashtei to her feet right with her.

"C'mon. We should get up before Azabell get's too hungry," Mikasa said. Ashtei nodded, her cheeks a strange tinge of red, with her scarf pulled over her mouth.

Mikasa wasn't expecting to get lunged on as soon as she walked out.

"Mamma! Mamma! You know what's in a four days, right? Right?" Azabell asked, hugging her little arms around Mikasa's waist, as her hair that had yet to be done flowed around her.

Mikasa took a few second before replying, as realization hit.

"It's your birthday…"

"YAY! Mommy remembered! Yay! Yay!"

Azabell looked so happy, with a smile so big, Mikasa could never have imagined it. Mikasa felt her heart melt.

She rubbed the young girl's head, earning a blush from Azabell.

"Is there anything you'd like for your birthday?"

Azabell nodded.

"I want sweets! And meat! And lots of things with milk in them! And lots and lots of that delicious hot soup you make! Oh! And I want Sasha, Connie, Hanji, Armin, and everyone else to come over! Oooooo! And I want a dress! A pretty red one! And a toy kitty! But for now, could you make breakfast?" Azabell said. Mikasa smiled at the fact that most of that was food.

Mikasa nodded and walked into the kitchen.

It was going to be another interesting day.

Later, a bit after breakfast, Mikasa had begun teaching Ashtei to sew. She ended up not having time the day before to teach Ashtei to sew, so Mikasa was taking the time this day to teach her.

"So after it's through the needle, you tie it off like this. See? Okay, so next you grab the material that you want to sew. In this case, it's a pillow we're making. One thing to keep in mind is that we'll be flipping it inside out, so it'll be smaller than how it looks. Now, you stick the needle through both lairs of materiel. Good. Now, pull it back through over here, and continue doing that. Just make sure to remember to leave a big enough hole to flip it inside out and stuff it when you're done. Now, let me now when you need to tie it off," Mikasa said, instructing Ashtei as she told her what to do.

Mikasa watched as Ashtei's little hands move up and down, and Mikasa couldn't help but smile a little.

Mikasa remembered when she first learned to sew. It actually was from Carla, who had always been so kind to her. Mikasa was so thankful to the Jaeger family, even if they weren't here anymore.

Mikasa had always considered herself lucky to have such kind people taking care of her all the time.

Mikasa really hoped that she didn't mess up as a parent, and that she could be successful as a parent. She had no experience as a parent, plus she had no mother to help her, so her only hope was what she knew about being a mother, and the help of her friends.

Mikasa was poked by Ashtei. She turned, and Ashtei seemed to have finished already, and now needed help tying off the needle.

Mikasa leaned over, demonstrating how it's done, then helped stuff it once it was flipped inside out.

In the end, Ashtei had a small and adorable black colored pillow with maroon string holding it together.

Mikasa nodded in approval, and said, "It's beautiful. May I ask why you chose that color?"

Ashtei blushed, averting her gaze, and burying herself in her scarf. She quickly wrote down in her notebook.

 **"** **No important reason."**

Mikasa's eyes glowed knowingly, and was about to speak, when Azabell ran over.

"Mamma! Mamma! Let's go play!"

Mikasa got up as Azabell dragged her away. Mikasa smiled in a very loving way.

 _'My family…this is my family…they are with me now…and I won't let them down…because…because…I…love them…'_

That was the first time she had ever _really_ admitted to herself that she loved them. She had told Azabell she had loved her, but now that she was actually taking it in, and it brought tears to her eyes.

Love had always been something that Mikasa had used as reason to feel anything and used to consider people family. To Mikasa, a place with no love, will never be home. Mikasa had always looked at love in a very different way. Mikasa knew that if you didn't have love, you couldn't feel. Anger, happiness, sadness…

It all came from love.

If you tell someone you love them, it means that you feel something when you look at them. It means that they are different from everyone else in your eyes.

Mikasa considered anyone she loved family. If they were dear enough to be loved, if they won a spot in the armored yet weak heart of hers, then they were people who deserved her protection.

Love wasn't an emotion to Mikasa…it was the way that Mikasa lived.

Azabell looked at Mikasa, and a look of realization hit her.

"Ashtei! Zackary! Come here! We're going to play hide and seek! I'll count first! You have thirty seconds! Oneeeeeeeeeeeeee…"

Zackary ran off towards the other side of the house. Mikasa was about to go find a hiding spot since she figured there was no getting Azabell to stop by now, when her hand was caught.

Mikasa turned to see Ashtei. Ashtei held up her notebook, her head hung in embarrassment.

 **"** **Can you hide with me? I don't want to go alone."**

"And thirty! Ready or not, here I come!" Azabell exclaimed, uncovering her eyes, and looking up and down the hall.

Azabell smirked and walked into her room, swinging her closet wide open. She peeked behind her clothes, and tapped her chin in thought when she saw nobody.

Azabell checked under the bed, and found no one there either.

As Azabell walked out the door of her room, got a surge of sadness remembering old memories she had with this game.

Both good and bad memories, going all the way back to when she was three years old.

She was snapped out of her thoughts, when she heard a sneeze. Azabell smiled widely, before running out of the hall and to the living room. She smirked when she saw a certain somebody's blue shirt sticking out from behind the couch.

She snuck over, jumping out at him when she was sure he didn't know she was there, shouting, "Ah ha!"

Zackary jumped in surprise. Then he sighed angrily.

"You always find me first!"

"That's because you suck at hiding!" Azabell said.

Zackary grabbed her cheeks, and pinched them.

"Owwwwww! That hurts!"

Zackary let go and stuck his tongue out at her playfully.

She did the same back.

She grabbed his hand.

"Now come on! I still have to find big sissy and Mamma!"

Mikasa was hiding with Ashtei behind a bunch of junk in a cupboard that was in the basement and was right behind a huge pile of stuff, so it was practically impossible to find.

The craziest thing about the spot was that Ashtei had found it all by herself. Apparently, she already knew it was there, which was ridiculous considering the fact that Mikasa didn't even know it was there after living in this house for over six months.

This girl was really good at hiding. That made Mikasa curious at how often she had needed to hide in the past.

That's when Mikasa noticed Ashtei was trembling. Her teeth were clenched, and so were her eyes. Mikasa knew she was trying to hold back tears.

Mikasa quickly wrapped her arms around the young girl, whispering to her, "If you need to cry, then cry. If you are in pain, then that's fine. If you don't feel like playing this game, then we don't have to. But please don't try to build it up inside. I've done that before, and it will bring you more harm than you can take. Every time my walls filled up with too much emotion, I'd fall. But there'd always be someone to catch me. So I'll tell you this: if you ever can't take the emotions for any longer…you can cry, you can scream, you can punch, and kick, and say as many hurtful things that you can think of…but please let me be there to save you from the hurting fall that comes after the flood," Mikasa said, and Ashtei began sobbing.

Mikasa held her tighter. She continued crying for a few minutes. Mikasa wasn't even quite sure what she was crying about, but she knew that it must have been something really big to make her cry for so long.

When Ashtei finally had calmed, Mikasa heard Azabell yell, "I give up! Please come out now! I'm really hungry!"

Mikasa grabbed Ashtei's hand and pulled her up.

"C'mon. Let's go," Mikasa said, before her thoughts wandered to Eren.

 _"Eren…you were my hope throughout all these years. Thank you for that…but now, I have to be the hope for these children. I have to pass on the light you gave me, and give these children a home. I will always be grateful to you…"_

Ashtei nodded, but then quickly stopped her. She blushed, then held up her notebook.

 **"** **Thank you."**

Mikasa shook her head.

"I'll do it again if I have to...again and again forever."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Azabell's birthday**

Armin was sitting at his table. He was gazing at his hands, a sad smile on his face. He had been thinking a lot about Eren that day, and also been thinking about Mikasa and her kids.

He often thought about all the times Eren had rescued him as a kid. Eren had always been there for him, and although it wasn't as hard as Mikasa, Armin was taking it hard. Eren was his first ever friend, the first person who hadn't looked down on him. Armin had watched Eren grow up, and watched the fire burning in his eyes slowly fade. He had seen too much…he had too much weighing in his heart after the war.

But Mikasa had helped him through it all. She stood by his side, and gave him all the care he needed all the way up until the end.

And that's when Mikasa fell. Of course she did. She had seen too much also. She fell into sadness, and despair, and Armin had of course figured out what had led her to the decision to adopt.

Being alone with no family had to be really hard. She had lost some part of her, and finally couldn't take one more day alone in that house.

Of course she had always been fit to be a mother. She was perfectly ready for a new family, and that's exactly what she went and got.

And now, she was not only filling up something she needed in life, she was also giving the kids what they needed. A family.

Suddenly, Armin was snapped out of his thoughts when there was a knock on the door. It had been three days since any other visits (Mikasa and her kids to be exact,) so he knew what he should be expecting at the door since it didn't seem likely for anyone else to visit…

He knew he was right when he opened the door and got a bone crushing hug.

He looked down, and there was the little red headed girl he was expecting with her arms around his chest.

He looked up to see Mikasa there, her brown coat wrapped around her, along with Zackary with a smile on his face, and Ashtei, who had red cheeks from the cold, and her large scarf burying most of her face.

Armin was actually quite impressed that that maroon scarf had survived all these years. It was so worn down, and had definitely seen better days.

"Uncle Armin! Uncle Armin! Tomorrow is my birthday!" Azabell exclaimed as she pulled away, practically jumping in excitement. She spun around while squealing.

"Well isn't that great!" Armin said, rubbing her head. He gave Mikasa a single wave.

"Hello Mikasa."

"Hi Armin. I know that I wasn't supposed to come back for a few more days, but I have to go shopping, and-"

Armin shook his head.

"It's alright, Mikasa. It's better than being alone all day, right?" Armin said, kneeling down and giving Ashtei a gentle hug.

Mikasa's gaze softened.

"Thank you, Armin."

"How many times do I have to tell you, Mikasa? Anytime. Anytime at all," Armin said.

Mikasa smiled, and the two shared a friendly hug before Mikasa knelt down, hugged her kids, and told them goodbye.

Mikasa only stopped waving goodbye to them when Armin closed the door.

Mikasa began heading towards town. She pulled her hood over her head, letting out a soft breath. Mikasa needed to go shop for Azabell's birthday, since it was going to be the next day. She had memorized what this girl wanted, and was also going to be buying other things since not only did she need them, also because it would make it less suspicious to come home with things that Azabell is allowed to see.

Mikasa began walking down a hill, and while seeing the shops in the distance, she got a surge of memories.

Memories of running through the streets of Shiganshina, hand-in-hand with the boy who had saved her.

Mikasa let out a sad smile. All these memories were bitter sweet, due to the fact that she wished that she could have made more happy memories like that.

But the world was too cruel to give her that. So now, she was left to make memories with her new family, and to cherish the happy memories she does have.

Mikasa finally made it into town after a few more minutes. She figured she should get the food last, so she was going for the stuffed cat first.

Mikasa had already been working on the red dress she wanted behind her back and when she was sleeping. In fact, Ashtei had been helping her with sewing it as well.

Mikasa accidently bumped into somebody. She turned quickly, opened her mouth to apologize, but then noticed who it was.

Levi was standing there, his short black hair perfectly combed, and his face as unimpressed as usual.

"Oh…It's the brat. What are you doing here?" Levi asked, standing up.

"Shopping for my kid's birthday. It's tomorrow," Mikasa replied.

Levi's eyes widened slightly.

"Your brat's birthday is tomorrow, huh…?"

"Yes. Why do you look so surprised?" Mikasa asked, her eyebrows slightly raised.

"Because I wouldn't expect that out of all people, it'd be one of your brats that I share a birthday with."

Now it was Mikasa's turn to be surprised.

"It's your birthday tomorrow?"

"That's what I just said, isn't it?"

Mikasa blinked a few times in surprise.

"How come no one has ever even acted like it's your birthday all these years? Did they not know?" Mikasa asked curiously.

"I don't like making big deals over stupid things like this. If I told everyone, they'd probably try to celebrate it or something…and then they'd probably make a huge mess being the noisy brats they are…" Levi said.

That was such an expected answer, Mikasa didn't have anything else to say.

"Well, I have to get back to shopping, brat. I'm out of cleaning supplies, and my house is crap right now," Levi said, turning around and beginning to walk off, when Mikasa grabbed his sleeve.

"Azabell has invited you to come over tomorrow if you'd like."

"Tch. We'll see about that. I don't know if spending my day with a bunch of brats would be what I want to do," Levi said, pulling his sleeve out of Mikasa's grip, and walking off.

Mikasa shook her head slightly, walking off as well, and going to get the things she needed.

Meanwhile, Azabell was outside. Armin had let her go outside, and apparently there was a lot of neighbors nearby, so she was hoping to make some friends.

That's when she saw a fruit tree in someone's yard. It was growing big, orangish-yellow fruits about the size of apples, and didn't seem to have a peel around it. How on earth could she resist the urge to eat?

Azabell tried reaching out to grab one, but she wasn't tall enough. Then she saw a nearby rock. She tried picking it up, but it was too heavy. So she pushed it instead. She tried grabbing the fruit again, but still couldn't reach it.

That's when a boy with yellow hair, brown eyes, and wearing a green coat and pale shirt, who was much taller than her walked out of the house right next to her, walked over to Azabell, reached up, picked a fruit, and handed it to her.

"I believe you were trying to steal one of our fruits, right? Here. Have one," he said with the smallest smile. Azabell was quite surprised that he wasn't mad at her for trying to steal.

"Thanks, but…why are you helping me?" Azabell asked.

"Well, why would I be mad? If you want one you can have one. I mean, you only would be taking one if you or your family is hungry, right? It doesn't matter how much food you already have. It's not like we need it anyway. Plus, who am I to refuse a girl like you? Anyway, what's your name? Mine is Zeno," the boy said.

"Mine is Azabell. So…you're really okay with me taking your fruit?"

"Absolutely! Oh, and how old are you? I'm seven," Zeno said.

"I'm five," Azabell answered.

"Do you want to be friends? You seem like a pretty interesting person," Zeno said. Azabell's face lit up.

"Sure!"

Jean was having a pretty normal day. He was going shopping, even if it was so cold his face could freeze off. What he wasn't expecting was to run into the person he had a crush on for eleven years now.

"Oh, hello Jean," Mikasa said with her normal straight face.

"H-hi Mikasa. What are you doing out here today?" Jean asked, averting his eyes from her gaze as his cheeks turned slightly red.

"I'm just shopping for my daughter's birthday. What about you?" Mikasa asked. Jean still had a hard time taking in the fact that she was a parent now. It just seemed so weird to think that the same girl who had been taking out titans for years, the same girl who was only second in power to Levi, the girl who was considered having the worth of a hundred soldiers, and the top of the 104th squad, was a mother.

"I'm just shopping for a few things. Where are your kids anyway?" Jean asked.

"They're at Armin's. Anyways, do you know where the toys are? I can't seem to find them," Mikasa said.

"O-oh. Well, go straight down to the end of the street, and they should be on your left," Jean said.

"Thanks. Oh, before I go, I want to let you know that Azabell invited you over tomorrow if you would like to come. Well anyway, I better get going. Thanks again," Mikasa said, walking off.

Jean nodded, and began walking the other direction.

After Mikasa was done shopping, she went to everyone's houses to invite them to her house tomorrow. After that was done, she decided to stop one last place before getting the kids.

The graveyard.

Mikasa walked in slowly, feeling the cool air blow at her face. She walked over to the one grave that she visited far too often. She stood in front of the grey stone, with the one name she would always remember carved in.

 _'Eren Jaeger. Lived from March 30_ _th_ _year 835 - May 15_ _th_ _year 857. He is one who will always live on within our hearts.'_

Mikasa felt an ache in her heart as she softly placed a hand on the grave.

She slowly let out a long breath.

"…Eren…"

She had a small yet sad smile.

"There's something I want to tell you…thank you…for being with me…"

Tears slowly built up in her eyes.

"Thank you for teaching me how to live…"

Her eyes clenched shut.

"Thank you for…everything…"

Mikasa slowly fell to her knees.

"This is my official goodbye, Eren."

Tears streamed down her face as she took a few moments then stood up.

"You were my hope in the dark before…and now, I'll share the light you gave me with everyone else."

She took a deep breath.

"Goodbye."

She began walking off.

"See you later…Eren…"

Mikasa went to pick up her kids. When she got there, the first thing she saw was Azabell playing out front with another kid.

"…and then w-MOMMY!" Azabell exclaimed, throwing her arms around Mikasa.

"Hey sweetie."

"Mommy, mommy! This is Zeno! He's my friend!" Azabell introduced.

"Hello their, Mrs.," Zeno said kindly.

"Nice to meet you," Mikasa said. The two shook hands.

"He can come over for my birthday tomorrow, right? Right?" Azabell asked.

Mikasa nodded.

"Of course he can."

"Thanks mommy!"

"Okay sweetie, you stay here. I need to tell Armin something really quick," Mikasa said.

"Okay!"

Mikasa walked up to the door and knocked. When Armin opened it he smiled.

"Hey Mikasa."

"Hey Armin. So, as you know, Azabell's birthday is tomorrow. But, well, Azabell would like you to come over. Well, that is, if you have the time to," Mikasa explained.

"Oh, sure! I'm glad that they like me so much. They're some good kids," Armin said with a small smile.

"Yeah…they really are…"

Suddenly, Ashtei walked up to the door. Mikasa instantaneously noticed something different with Ashtei.

"Ashtei…you got your hair braided…!" Mikasa exclaimed.

Ashtei nodded, and held up her notebook with a blush.

 **"Armin helped me with it…"**

"You look very pretty," Mikasa said.

Zackary ran up to Mikasa.

"Did you see Azabell with that boy? She made a friend! This is her first friend besides me!" Zackary exclaimed, a happy look on his face. He seemed to be happy when Azabell was happy.

Mikasa smiled.

"Yeah. That's good for her, huh?"

"Uh huh!"

Mikasa grabbed the two's hands.

"Thanks for watching them, Armin."

"It was no problem!"

Mikasa walked out and got Azabell.

"C'mon Azabell. It's time to go home," Mikasa said.

"Okay! Bye Zeno! We'll come get you tomorrow!" Azabell yelled back to him.

"Okay Azabell! It was nice meeting you!"

The next day came faster than expected. Azabell was so exited that she ended up being first to wake up, which was saying something considering Mikasa and Ashtei were usually up before sunrise.

She snapped up, immediately turning to Zackary after the realization hit, and shook him awake.

"Zacky! Zacky!" Azabell said.

"Unnnn…what is it…? It's not even sunrise yet…" Zackary said, sitting up and running his hand through his hair.

"IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!" Azabell exclaimed.

"Huh…? Oh! Oh yeah!" Zackary said, a smiling forming on his face.

"Now C'mon! We have to wake Mamma and sissy up!"

But her loud voice had already awoken the two.

"What's going on?" Mikasa asked, walking into Azabell's room with Ashtei following right behind.

"Yay, you're already awake! Mommy! It's my birthday!" Azabell exclaimed.

Mikasa's eyes suddenly widened.

"Oh yeah, that's right!"

"Now that you're up, can you make breakfast?" Azabell asked with a huge smile.

Mikasa nodded.

"Of course."

As Mikasa was making breakfast, Ashtei had gone into the other room to get something. When she had come back, she handed Azabell something all wrapped up shyly.

"…Big sis! You have a present for me…?"

Ashtei nodded, averting her gaze.

Azabell unwrapped it and gasped when she saw it.

It was two hand sewn, gorgeous looking hair ties.

"Big sissy…they…they're beautiful!" Azabell exclaimed, throwing her arms around Ashtei.

"I love you, big sis! Thank you!" Azabell exclaimed.

Ashtei felt her eyes fill with tears as she hugged Azabell back.

 _'She…did she just… say she loves me…?'_

"Kids! Breakfast is ready!" Mikasa said, placing food onto the table.

"Yay!" Azabell said, running over and stuffing her face.

After breakfast, the kids ran off to play. Mikasa went and locked herself in her bedroom, needing to start wrapping her presents before all the guests came.

She wasn't expecting her to get up so early, so she thought she's have plenty of time to get ready.

After wrapping the presents and hiding them for the time being, she went to check on the kids.

Zackary was right behind the couch, brushing both the girl's hairs. Ashtei was sitting there, a tint of red on her cheeks as he brushed her hair.

 _'My brother…is…taking care of me?'_

She softly closed her eyes.

 _'I always wondered what this thing would feel like…it's better than I ever imagined…'_

Ashtei relaxed as he began braiding her hair.

"You know, you guys both have really pretty hair," Zackary said quietly.

"Thanks bubba!" Azabell said, smiling.

Ashtei blushed and held up her notebook.

 **'Thank you. You don't have to do this for me.'**

Zackary smiled, shaking his head.

"How else am I supposed to treat my sisters?"

Ashtei had two small tears stream down her face as she pulled her scarf up to her nose.

 **Year 850…**

Four-year-old Ashtei was following her mother and father. They were walking in the dark underground city that she had lived in her whole life.

Her parents hadn't told her or her two brothers, Zorro and Jonathon, where they were going and why. The kids knew better than to ask though. Their parents were in a very bad mood at the moment.

Their parents walked into a dark alley way.

"Hurry up now!" Ashtei's mother shouted, her green eyes flashing dangerously.

The kids rushed over.

"Now, you three will stay right here. Don't go anywhere. Nowhere at all. We will come back at the end of the day, you hear me? At the end of the day. So just wait until then," Ashtei's father told them, as he ran a hand through his black hair.

"Yes sir," Zorro said, who also happened to be Ashtei's oldest brother.

"Okay. We're going now," their mother said.

"Bye Mommy!" Ashtei shouted, a smile on her face.

If only she had known what would be next.

Ashtei snapped out of her memories when there was a knock on the door. Mikasa went over to get it, and when she opened it, there was Armin.

"Armin! You came earlier than expected," Mikasa said.

"Yeah…couldn't sleep too well," Armin said, scratching his head.

"Well, come in," Mikasa said.

Armin walked in, slipping off his coat and hanging it up before walking over to a chair next the couch.

"Hey guys," Armin said. Azabell and Ashtei walked over to him, giving him a soft hug.

"Yay! Uncy Armin is here!"

"Happy birthday, Azabell," Armin said kindly.

"Thanks!" Azabell said with a smile. Armin rubbed the young girl's head, causing her to blush.

"If you want, I can give you your present early," Armin said, pulling a small package out of his pockets.

"…You got me a present? Wow! Thanks! Of course I want it!" Azabell said in excitement. Armin handed it to her.

When she unwrapped it, she froze in surprise.

"…Is this…?"

"Historia told me you might want it," Armin said gently.

Azabell slowly slipped the gift into her pocket.

"Thank…thank you!" Azabell said, smiling a little and giving him another hug.

Armin hugged the girl back.

"I also got you another present," Armin said, pulling yet another thing out of his pocket.

"Here," Armin handed her a small book.

Azabell looked at it.

"It's a cook book. You can have Mikasa teach you how to cook your own food," Armin said.

Azabell's smile grew really wide.

"Wow! Thanks Uncy Armin!" Azabell exclaimed.

A few hours went by before they went to pick up Zeno before all the other guests showed up.

Jean, Sasha, Connie, Hanji, came soon after picking him up. Even Levi had come much to Mikasa's surprise.

When she asked him why he had decided to come though, he said that everyone probably would make a huge mess of the house, and just the thought made him feel uneasy, so he would help clean whatever mess was left afterward, but Mikasa figured there must be more than that.

"Mommy! Mommy! Can I open up presents?" Azabell asked. Mikasa nodded. She had just finished baking the cake (that she hid just in case Azabell tried to eat it early.)

Mikasa went into the other room to grab hers.

When she came back, everyone sat around the couch and handed their presents to Azabell (except Levi hadn't brought any.)

Azabell opened up Sasha's first. It was a bag of cookies.

"Wow! Thank you!" Azabell exclaimed. Sasha smiled.

"Connie and I both got them. If you ever don't want any, let me know!"

Next, she took Zeno's. It was a bag of those fruits that he had been growing.

"Thanks Zeno!" Azabell exclaimed. He just smiled.

"We didn't really need them anyway."

Azabell opened Jean's next. It was a small blue dress.

"Thank you!" Azabell said.

"No problem…" Jean said.

Hanji's was a pink hairbrush.

"Thanks!" Azabell said.

"Anything for you!" Hanji said, smiling.

Azabell opened Mikasa's next. It was a box of several kinds of food, but mainly consisted of meat.

Azabell drooled, as she looked up at Mikasa with red cheeks, and threw her arms around her.

"Thank you so, so, so much Mommy!" she exclaimed. Mikasa stroked her hair with a smile.

Next, she opened the dress that Ashtei and Mikasa had made for her.

"Thank you, guys! It's beautiful!" Azabell said, admiring it.

Next, Zackary handed her a present. When she opened it, she gasped.

"Zackary…did you make this…?" Azabell asked, pulling out a beautiful red headed doll. Zackary blushed.

"I may have learned how to sew when I was younger…"

"Thank you so much, Bubba!" Azabell exclaimed, hugging him.

After that, everyone had cake, and all headed home.

"Thanks for everything, guys!" Azabell said, waving goodbye to everyone.

Later, when they were going to bed, Azabell curled next to Zackary.

"Hey, um…what did Armin give you earlier?" Zackary asked.

Azabell pulled it out. It was a well drawn sketch of a man and woman who looked just like Azabell.

"Is that…?"

"Yeah…my parents."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Ashtei**

 **Year 850…**

Ashtei and her brothers were sitting around the alleyway since their parents had told them to stay.

"Ugh…I'm so bored…." Jonathon said, sighing. "Yo Zorro. Wanna go do something fun?"

"Sure!" Zorro said. The two stood up.

"Guys, Daddy said to stay here," Ashtei said, grabbing their arms. She was the youngest.

"Shut up, Ashtei! We aren't a pest like you!" Jonathon said, shoving her away. She fell to the ground. The two turned back to each other.

"What should we do?" Zorro asked.

"How about we go explore? All we need to do is to make sure that we're back before Mom and Dad come back," Jonathon said.

"'Kay!" Zorro said. The two began rushing off. Ashtei stumbled up, tears in her eyes as she ran after them. The fall had caused her to scrape her leg.

"Wait! Don't leave me all alone! It's scary around here!" Ashtei cried.

"If you're gonna follow us like a parasite, just do it quietly, and keep up! Don't blame us if your stupid legs can't keep up!" Jonathon yelled. Ashtei's tears streamed down her face as she ran faster, feeling the burning cut on her leg get worse.

Ashtei was memorizing everything around her so she'd know her way back. She had never told her parents about her memory, but she never forgot anything. She seemed to have photographic memory.

Ashtei followed them throughout town. Her small legs couldn't really keep up. That's when she tripped on her dress, her face hitting the hard ground, and her foot getting twisted.

Ashtei tried to stand, but cried out in pain.

Her brothers paid her no attention, running ahead.

"Wait!" Ashtei cried, tears running down her face, as she kept trying to walk, but failed.

Ashtei broke down sobbing, her hands covering her mouth, which released small cries.

Ashtei was there all night, shivering and curled into herself. Her parents probably already left with her brothers by now.

Her brothers didn't care about her. Her parents didn't care about her.

She never knew any form of love. All she had was herself. She was all alone in life.

Suddenly, right when Ashtei began crying once again, she saw Jonathon walk over.

"Oh, here you are," he said simply. Ashtei looked up at him.

"You came back…"

"Yeah, well, don't expect it to happen again. You owe me," Jonathon said, helping her walk.

"So, Mom didn't show. We're not quite sure she's actually come back for us," Jonathon said as he helped her through town.

When they made it back to their waiting spot, there was a fire set up. Zorro was sitting there.

"Oh. You actually found her. Mm…I kind of wish you didn't," Zorro said as Jonathon sat her down.

Jonathon shrugged.

"She could be useful. She owes us now," he said.

Ashtei looked at the fire, watching as the flames danced in front of her eyes, like it was making a beautiful ballet.

Ashtei felt lost as she looked at the flames. They were warm and comforting…but if you touched it, you'd burn.

Ashtei felt like she was drowning in flames. She was burning, burning in a cruel world where everyone else just watched.

She never had someone to put out the flames. Nobody even tried.

By the time Ashtei was six, they had been living on the streets for so long now. They would steal for food, and the world they lived in was a hard one.

But one day, Ashtei was caught stealing. Of course this happened once in a while, so she had gotten used to hiding. But this time, they were three grown men who were much stronger than her, and they looked ready to beat her up.

Ashtei had to run.

"Hey! Get back here you brat!"

Ashtei ran straight into a dead end. She turned, her back against the wall.

One man walked up to her, his fists ready. He punched her in the face, hitting her so hard she fell to the ground. The three began kicking her

Once they had stopped, is when Ashtei saw a rusty knife by the garbage can. Her survival instincts kicked in as she picked it up, her hands shaking, but her eyes expressed nothing. She was just…empty.

Ashtei lifted up the knife, standing up. The men looked surprised to see a six year old ready to fight.

"What do you think you're doing, you little-URK!" the man stopped talking when the knife was stabbed into his stomach. The man collapsed, bleeding out.

The other two men ran, absolutely horrified. Ashtei stood there, staring at the corpse. It was like her mind had snapped, practically forcing her to give up her innocence. Ashtei had no idea what had just happened.

When she looked up, she saw her brothers standing at the end of the alley, looking terrified.

"What on earth have you done?!" Zorro asked, backing up.

Ashtei suddenly walked towards them.

"I-it's not what it looks like! They started beating me up then-"

"Shut up! Stay away from me, you monster! Any person like you shouldn't be allowed to move freely, let alone speak! You here me!? I don't want you ever to talk to me or anyone else ever again!" Zorro shouted. The two ran off.

Ashtei stood there, frozen. Why were they so scared of her? It's not like she was trying to hurt anyone without reason.

Ashtei began walking back to the place they had as a base, not really rushing.

When she made it back, her heart practically stopped. Her brothers were lying on the ground, bleeding from chest wounds.

Ashtei dropped by Jonathon, shaking him.

"Jonathon! Jonathon!" she cried. He opened his weak eyes, before whispering his last words.

"I hate you…I wish you'd never speak again…"

His chest went unmoving, and his eyes lost all light.

Ashtei froze, tears falling from her eyes. She looked up, seeing the two men who had run off holding two weapons. One was holding a knife while the other was holding an axe.

"You put this onto yourself," one said, approaching her.

Ashtei suddenly grabbed a rock, almost as if she had been possessed by something that was made to do nothing but kill. She threw it at his head.

He fell, dropping the knife. Ashtei grabbed it, lunging at the other man and stabbing him.

The six-year-old seemed to have gone absolutely psycho at that moment, not even knowing what she was doing.

Three years later…

Ashtei was in a carriage. For the first time in her life, she was looking at the world from a place that wasn't underground.

She couldn't care less.

The people in the carriage kept trying to speak to her, to get her to speak back.

She wouldn't. She refused to speak. Not after her brothers told her that they never wanted her to speak again.

So they asked her questions, getting no answer. She would give them motions with her hands, but they couldn't seem to understand them.

They were taking her to an orphanage. A place that was going to be a safe home.

At least, that's what they tried to convince her it would be. But what's a home? She had never known. Is it a place you live? Is it a place you go to be loved?

If that was the case, she wasn't expecting to ever get a home. Who would love a murderer? Who'd love a girl who wouldn't speak? A girl who had lost her innocence?

No one would. And Ashtei didn't want to be loved. She didn't deserve it. Not after causing such pain to her brothers. Not after her parents abandoned her. She could see why they wouldn't want a girl like her.

So Ashtei sat there, quietly holding back her tears.

When they took Ashtei to the orphanage, she got many stares. You always do when you're the new kid.

They gave her a notebook and pencil so that she could actually talk to everyone.

But who would she talk to? Why get close to anyone? Wouldn't that just hurt her more?

So at lunch she sat on her own.

She fell as subject to teasing because of her silence, but at first, it wasn't a big deal.

But that's when the bullying got worse.

So one day, she had been trapped in a small room with them.

"Hey, you know…I'm surprised you haven't been arrested by now," a boy said, brushing his brown hair out of his face.

Ashtei looked confused.

"For a girl who ruthlessly murdered her own brothers, it's strange that they'd put a psychopath in here," he said.

 **"** **I didn't murder my brothers!"**

They ignored her.

"Will you stop holding those stupid notebooks at people's face and pretend that you want to talk to them? It's super annoying. Besides, it's not like anyone will care what a murderer like you is trying to say," he said.

Ashtei held up her notebook.

 **"** **I'm sorry."**

I just told you not to do that!" he said, ripping the notebook out of her hands. Ashtei reached out, trying to grab it, as he held it higher out of her reach. He then ran off with it, leaving Ashtei chasing after.

She was mouthing wordlessly, tears building up in her eyes.

He ran outside, and grim realization hit when she saw the direction he was going. He went to a river that was nearby, tossing it in.

Ashtei watched, horrified, as it filled with water and floated off.

Ashtei ended up being blamed for throwing her notebook in. The caretaker had yelled at her for wasting it.

As if the bullying wasn't bad enough, it grew steadily worse.

Anytime Ashtei was in lunch getting food, as she was walking to her seat, she'd be tripped. After that, her food would get stolen most times.

They also went to physical extremes. They began kicking her and punching her anytime they got her alone. They'd steal her notebook if they got the chance to, and would also lay out verbal attacks whenever possible.

 _Stupid._

 _Useless._

 _Murderer._

 _Psychopath._

 _Why bother living? Nobody loves you._

 _Nobody ever will._

But at one point, they insulted her brothers directly.

"I bet your brothers were stupid. Anybody raised with her would be."

Ashtei's fists clenched.

"Yeah! And I bet they didn't care about her. No brother of hers would love her," they said.

"Well, if that was the case, I'd be their friend."

"Yeah, but I bet they were horrible people. I know…they probably killed their parents! That's why she is here! She probably worked with them to kill her parents, then killed them after. She probably never even cared about them."

Suddenly, Ashtei swung her fist right at them, hitting them both in the face.

She was grounded for a week because of this. Everybody began calling her dangerous from then on after.

And so…

She was alone. Isolated from the world. Convinced that she didn't deserve anything or anyone.

No one would hear her cries. No one would see her tears.

No one even heard her silent calls for help.

Nobody except herself.

And that was life. That was what it'd be like forever.

And that was what made up her name. That was made up her personality.

That was what made…

Ashtei.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Miranda**

Ashtei's eyes fluttered open. She sat up, yawning.

She slept in a little later than usual. Luckily, she hadn't had any nightmares.

Ashtei had been living with Mikasa for one month now. It was now warm out, and the snow had melted, but it was still chilly, especially at night.

Ashtei grabbed her notebook and walked out into the living room, seeing that Mikasa was awake.

Mikasa looked over at Ashtei.

"Hey sweetie…" she said quietly. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her face was tear stained, showing that she had been crying.

Ashtei walked over and sat next to Mikasa.

She wrote something on her notebook worriedly. Mikasa nodded when she saw it.

 **"** **Are you okay?"**

"Yeah…I was just thinking about some things…"

What Mikasa had been thinking about was everything she had been through in her short life. Pain…bloodshed…tears…merciless deaths with no reason to them…

Love…care…dreams…a hand to hold…loving arms…family…friends…warmth…hope.

And Mikasa knew that where there are shadows, there is light.

Where there's hope, there's despair.

And where there's love, there's hate.

That's the way the world works.

And some people have to lose it all…

To find out what they really want.

Azabell came running out, her long red hair flowing as she went.

"Morning Mommy! Can you make breakfast while I go outside? Zeno is supposed to be waiting outside!" Azabell said.

"Sure sweetie," Mikasa said with a smile.

"Thanks Mommy!" Azabell said, putting on her shoes and rushing outside.

Zackary came running out after her, slipping on his shoes as he went. He was holding hair clips and a brush in his hand.

"Morning Mom!"

He swung the door open, sliding his coat on and grabbing Azabell's coat.

"Azabell! You forgot your coat! You'll get sick! And what about your hair?!"

Zackary saw Azabell throw her arms around Zeno from the distance.

Zeno smiled.

"Hey Azabell," he said, stroking her red hair.

"It's strange to see your hair down."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know. Your hair is always in pigtails."

"Are you saying you don't like my hair like this…?" Azabell asked. Zeno shook his head.

"That's not what I think. I like your hair in any way. It's very pretty," Zeno said.

Azabell blushed.

"Really?"

"Really."

Azabell smiled. Zackary caught up to them. He grabbed Azabell by the ear.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow!" Azabell said.

"First off, you don't go hugging guys, even if they're your friends! Second, you forgot your coat! Third, you didn't brush your hair!" Zackary said.

"Let go of me, Zacky!" Azabell said, trying to tug away from his grip.

"Not until you put on your coat!" Zackary said.

Zeno suddenly started laughing. The two looked over at him.

"What?!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" he said, still laughing.

Azabell struggled against Zackary as he slipped her coat on, brushing her hair.

It was humorous to watch the siblings fight.

Meanwhile, Ashtei and Mikasa were sitting side by side. Mikasa was stroking Ashtei's hair, gently and lovingly.

You see, it was Mikasa's day off. She had been working for a while now, so they often were at Armin's house. They always seemed so happy when she came home or had a day off.

Azabell had even called Mikasa her best friend. It made Mikasa fill with glee just to know they loved her like this.

Ashtei still had never told Mikasa she loved her. Mikasa knew why. Ashtei was extremely insecure. This is something she learned. She apologized over every little thing that she did, and it made Mikasa sad.

Mikasa didn't know anything about Ashtei's past, but she had theories.

Her biggest theory was neglect. She was almost positive she had been neglected. Ashtei would often lock herself in her bedroom, and her biggest fear seemed to be getting abandoned. She was constantly doubting that Mikasa wanted her.

It made Mikasa sad. It made her sad that she had to convince her that she was never going to stop loving her.

Ashtei's face was buried in her scarf. That's when Ashtei held up something she wrote.

 **"** **How do you make friends?"**

Mikasa thought for a moment.

"I'm not so sure…I've never actually tried. I just ended up with them somehow," Mikasa said simply.

"But I think you just need to find someone you can understand, and if they understand you, and you two get along, then you have a friend," Mikasa said. Ashtei nodded, and wrote yet another question.

 **"** **How do you fall in love?"**

Mikasa froze, speechless and unable to answer. She opened her mouth, closed it again, thought, opened it, and just closed it back once again.

She literally had no answer to that. She was silent for about five minutes before answering.

"I don't have a good answer to that…but…I think…that it's not something you can help. I think that you personally have no control over falling in love. I think, most of the time, you don't even completely realize you're in love at first. But then…someday…it clicks," Mikasa answered, looking down.

Ashtei looked over at her, with one last question.

 **"** **What makes a person stop loving you?"**

Mikasa froze, her heart sinking. She swallowed a lump in her throat before answering.

"I…don't think that you can love someone and actually ever stop loving them. If you really loved them, then it never really fades. You can deny that you love them, but that doesn't change that you do," Mikasa answered.

Ashtei and Mikasa were both silent, and Ashtei slowly, almost unsurely climbed onto Mikasa's lap and curled up. Mikasa's eyes widened slightly, surprised. That's when her eyes softened, and she held her close, stroking her back lovingly. They stayed like that for a minute.

Suddenly, the door burst open. Azabell ran in excitedly.

"Mommy! Mommy! You know that empty house nearby? Someone moved in! Two adults and…a girl!" Azabell said, looking out of mind excited.

Mikasa looked up, surprised.

"Really?"

"Yeah! Can we go say hi? Please? Pleaaaaaase?" Azabell begged, her two hands clasped together, impatient. Mikasa hesitated, before nodding.

"Yeah…okay," Mikasa said. Azabell smiled widely.

"Thank you Mommy! You're the best!" she said, turning and running back outside.

Mikasa and Ashtei stood up. They could hear Azabell's excited voice outside.

"You hear that, Bubba?! We might make new friends!"

"Azabell, calm down," Zeno said, smiling slightly at her excitement.

"Azabell! Don't leave the door open!" Zackary said, running up and closing the door.

"Hey, here comes Mommy! And Big Sissy!" Azabell said happily.

Mikasa walked outside. Azabell ran up and took Mikasa's hand, pulling her faster.

"C'mon! Zeno, wait here! You're too slow, Mommy!" Azabell complained. Mikasa smirked slightly. Her impatience reminded her of Eren.

When they had made it to the nearby house, Azabell was first to knock.

A girl with long orange hair, as orange as the sunset, opened it. She looked about the age of Ashtei, and her eyes looked purple. If you moved closer though, they were clearly blue. Much like Mikasa's eyes.

"Um…uh…Mamma! Somebody's here!" She cried shyly instantly escaping into the house.

A woman with long blonde hair and blue eyes much like the girl's walked to the front door. She had glasses.

"Oh, hello there!" she greeted kindly.

"Hello. I'm Mikasa Ackerman, and these are my children Azabell Juana Ackerman, Ashtei Ackerman, and Zackary Ackerman. We noticed that you moved in, and wanted to greet you. We live next door," Mikasa introduced.

"Oh! Well, it's nice to meet you! My name is Aima Sekki. The girl who you saw at the door was Miranda. She's extremely shy, but if you get her to open up to you, than you can play with her whenever," she replied with a smile, directed the last part to the children. Azabell nodded ecstatically, Zackary smiled, and Ashtei nodded meekly.

"Well, if you need anything, let us know. I'll be sending Miranda out soon," Aima said. Mikasa nodded.

"Thank you."

Aima shut the door. As soon as she did, Azabell went running for the yard in excitement. She had to tell Zeno about this.

"Azabell! Wait up!" Zackary ran off after her. Ashtei than looked up at Mikasa, and tugged at her hand. Mikasa stopped, leaning down to see her face to face. Ashtei gave Mikasa a kiss on the cheek before running off.

Mikasa was surprised at first, but then her face softened into a smile.

When Mikasa made it back to the house, she sat on the porch, watching the children. She wasn't quite sure what they were doing, but it was humorous to watch.

Azabell was getting her ear pulled on by Zackary, who seemed to be scolding her, while Zeno was laughing so hard he was almost in tears, and Ashtei was watching with a smile, writing something in her notebook.

Mikasa felt the cool breeze hit her face, making her black hair flow in the wind. She realized then that it had grown out slightly. Mikasa took a lock of it in her hand, gazing at it.

She remembered cutting the first time. It was strange since she had long hair since childhood, so it just felt somewhat wrong to snip it off like she did. But it was what Eren had wanted.

Now, she didn't want it to grow back out.

She planned to cut it when the kids were asleep later.

Suddenly, Mikasa heard Azabell getting excited by a figure in the distance. It was, Mikasa realized, the neighbor girl. She was peaking out from behind a tree, looking extremely scared. The young girl squeaked when Azabell approached, hiding all the way behind the tree.

"Hey there!" Azabell said. Zeno simply waved from the distance, while Ashtei also looked like she was getting shy, but not as shy as her.

Zackary hit Azabell's shoulder lightly. Azabell looked at him, angry.

"What now?"

"Don't be stupid. You're scaring her."

"Am not!"

"Then what do you call her reaction?" Zackary asked. Azabell then sat down.

"Fine. Show me how it's done then," she said. Zackary smirked.

"Challenge accepted."

The two stuck tongues out at each other before Zackary approached.

"Hey there. I'm Zackary," Zackary said in a very soft and soothing voice. Miranda peaked out slightly from behind the tree.

"It's okay. We're not going to hurt you. We'd like to be your friend," Zackary said.

Miranda's blue eyes expressed fear and uncertainty.

"If you want, you can come play with us. You don't have to though. I'm going to leave you alone now," Zackary said. Miranda stayed behind the tree.

Azabell gave him a 'that's it? Really?' look.

"Challenge accepted," Azabell mimicked Zackary's voice. Zackary held his finger up to silence her.

"I'm not done quite yet," Zackary said. Azabell folded her arms, watching. Zackary walked off for a few minutes. When he came back, he was holding a beautiful pink flower that had just come into bloom.

 _'He wouldn't…'_

Zackary approached the tree.

 _'He is.'_

"Hey. Sorry to bother you again, but I wanted to give you this. I think it goes beautifully with your hair. I like your hair. It looks like the sky at dusk. It's pretty," Zackary said. Miranda's entire face went red as she nervously grabbed the flower.

"T-thank you!" she squeaked out. She then very nervously stepped out, her legs shaking.

"It's okay, take your time. You don't have to rush," Zackary said to her as she began walking with him, keeping her distance.

Azabell couldn't believe it. Not only had he complemented a girl and gave her a flower, he also got an extremely shy person to come with him in four minutes of knowing them.

And people wonder why she admires him so much.

Miranda sat down by everyone, sitting very far from them.

"Hello there," Zeno said softly. Miranda looked away from everyone, extremely shy.

"H…Hi…" she said quietly. Her voice was small and cute.

Ashtei held up her notebook.

 **"** **Hello. I don't talk, so I'll answer using this. My name is Ashtei."**

"I-I-I'm Miranda."

"I'm Zeno."

"And I'm Azabell!"

Zackary hit her shoulder yet again.

"Ouch!"

"Quit yelling. You're getting too excited."

Azabell rolled her eyes.

"So Miranda, what do you like to do in your free time?" Zeno asked. Miranda very quietly answered.

"I like to draw…"

"Well, well! Me too!" Zeno said. Miranda's face lit up slightly.

"R-really?"

"Yeah."

"What's your favorite thing to draw?" Miranda asked.

"I love drawing sunsets."

Miranda smiled.

"I like drawing sunrises," Miranda said.

"Hey, uh, do you like to play with any toys?" Azabell asked. Miranda nodded.

"I like to play with stuffed animals that I sew up."

Ashtei held up her notebook.

 **"** **I sew too!"**

"Really?"

Ashtei nodded.

Mikasa was watching them interact with Miranda. She figured that they were getting along quite well. Mikasa thought that was a very good thing. It was nice for them to be making friends.

Everyone stayed outside until sunset.

"Kids! It's time to come in!" Mikasa called.

"Okay! Coming Mommy!" Azabell said.

"Well, I guess I better be going then," Zeno said. Azabell gave him a bone crushing hug.

"See you later, Zeno!" Azabell said, running off.

Miranda waved to everyone.

"I-it was nice meeting you!" she squeaked before running off.

Everyone headed inside.

"Mommy! I'm hungry! Can you make dinner?" Azabell asked.

"Of course," Mikasa said with a small smile, and went to work on dinner.

After dinner, the kids went to bed. Mikasa was in her bedroom, trimming her hair with a smile.

 _'Eren…my kids are growing so fast. There's so much I wish you could be here to see. But…the sad truth is, if you hadn't died, I wouldn't have gotten these kids…so in a way…your death is bittersweet. It's an ending of an old life, and a beginning of a new one. Thank you for making me so strong, Eren.'_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Friendship**

When Mikasa awoke, Azabell was curled in her lap. She hadn't remembered her coming in, so she assumed she came in while she was sleeping.

Mikasa's heart sunk when she realized that her face was tear stained. Mikasa looked out the window. She didn't have to go to work for a few more hours.

Mikasa pulled the girl closer, stroking her hair and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. Azabell's eyes slowly fluttered open.

"M-mommy?"

"Hey sweetie. Are you okay?" Mikasa asked.

Azabell nodded.

"I had a nightmare last night," Azabell said. The poor six-year-old looked on the verge of tears.

Mikasa gently caressed her cheek, lifting her up and cradling her. After a moment, Azabell placed her ear on Mikasa's chest, listening to her heartbeat. The sound soothed her.

Azabell sighed contentedly, looking up at Mikasa and whispering a soft, "I love you."

Mikasa looked down, her eyes soft.

"I love you too."

Azabell then blushed before asking Mikasa something.

"Can you sing for me?"

Mikasa's breathing caught at that. It was something that her mother used to do to her when she was little after having a nightmare.

Mikasa let out a deep breath before nodding. Azabell smiled slightly.

"Thank you, Mommy."

Mikasa closed her eyes, opened her mouth and began singing a song her mother used to sing to her. It was a lullaby.

When Mikasa had finished, Azabell was sound asleep with a smile painting her face.

It had been three weeks since they met Miranda. The five kids had all been getting along swell, and Mikasa was almost positive that Miranda had a crush on Zackary. She was ten years old, so she was only two years older than him.

The thing that was funny though, is that Zackary didn't even realize her feelings for him, yet he still was constantly giving her gifts. Flowers, pictures he'd drawn, toys, even dresses. The two had become best friends.

Azabell and Zeno were also two very good friends. Zeno was very sarcastic when it came to her, and teased her a lot, but Azabell was closer to him than ever. She actually said he drove her crazy, but that was signs that they were close.

Now Ashtei was close to Zeno and Miranda, but mainly Miranda. She would often go over to her house to sew with her, and Miranda didn't mind that she didn't talk.

But then there was a problem. Apparently, near Armin's house, there were a bunch of bullies. And since she brought them to Armin's house when she was at work, they were constantly running into them.

At one point, Zackary had the kid's parents angry at him for punching one of them. He defended himself by saying they were beating up Azabell, and in the end, Mikasa hadn't gotten them in trouble.

She was worse than him when she was younger. Anyone who so much as touched Eren wasn't going home in one piece. The bullies back then had been terrified of her more than anything. She was their worst nightmare.

Once Azabell was asleep for about ten minutes, Mikasa very slowly slipped out of bed, being careful not to wake her. She walked out of the bedroom.

Ashtei was sitting out in the living room, talking to Miranda. Mikasa had completely forgotten that she had come over for the night.

"So your favorite color is brown?" Miranda asked. Ashtei nodded.

"Mine is orange."

Ashtei looked over at Mikasa, noticing she was awake. Ashtei smiled.

"Oh! Good Morning Mrs. Ackerman," Miranda greeted sweetly. Mikasa smiled.

"Good morning, Miranda."

Ashtei held up her notebook.

 **"** **When are you going to work?"**

"In about two hours. Are you hungry? I can start breakfast."

Ashtei nodded, and so did Miranda.

Mikasa walked into the kitchen, beginning to make a soup.

While Mikasa was doing that, Ashtei continued talking to Miranda.

 **"** **Do you have a father, Miranda?"**

"I've never met my father. I heard he died before I was born," Miranda said.

 **"** **I'm sorry."**

"No, it's fine," Miranda assured, smiling. The two were sewing while they talked.

Suddenly, Zackary emerged from the other room.

"Morning guys," he said, plopping down by Miranda. Miranda's cheeks grew very red.

"G-good morning, Zackary," she said. Zackary smiled at her.

"Hey, you brushed your hair yet?" Zackary asked. Miranda shook her head quietly.

"Hmm…may I do it for you then?" Zackary asked. Miranda's whole face went extremely red as she nodded. Zackary went to get a brush. Miranda turned so that he could be behind her while he softly brushed her.

"You have beautiful hair," Zackary said.

Miranda felt as though her face could explode from how hot it was.

Mikasa smiled, hearing the kids. When breakfast was done, she set their bowls on the table.

Suddenly, Mikasa heard running through the halls, when Azabell emerged, practically lunging at her food.

"I smelled food! Nobody woke me up! You're supposed to wake me up when there's food!" Azabell complained between bites. Miranda giggled at Azabell, while Zackary hit her shoulder yet again.

"What nowwww?!" Azabell asked.

"Don't talk with your mouth full!"

Azabell rolled her eyes.

After breakfast, Mikasa began getting ready for work. Miranda had headed home, and much to her pleasure, Zackary had walked her.

After Mikasa had gotten ready, she brought them to Armin's house.

"Okay. I'll see you guys later. I love you. Try not to fight," Mikasa said, kissing their foreheads and hugging them before leaving.

"Bye mommy!" Azabell yelled.

 **"** **Stay safe!"** Ashtei held up her notebook.

"Have a good day at work!" Zackary said as she left.

Armin waved to her with a smile.

"Hey Uncy Armin!" Azabell said, tugging his sleeve. Armin looked down at the small girl.

Her big blue eyes bored into his.

"Can I go outside?"

Armin nodded, rubbing the girls head as he kneeled down to see her face to face.

"Sure."

Azabell smiled.

"Thank you Uncy Armin!"

She swung the door open, running out.

Armin sighed, sitting down on his couch. Ashtei walked up to him, holding up her notebook.

 **"** **Are you okay?"**

Armin smiled, nodding. Ashtei sat next to him.

 **"** **Can you read me a story?"**

Armin nodded.

"What would you like to read? You can choose any books on these shelves you'd like," Armin said. Ashtei began scanning through the books before pulling out a book. The book was a fairytale.

Armin smiled.

"Ahh, so you'd like me to read that one? It's a good choice," Armin said, as she handed him the book.

"I've had this one since I was a child," Armin said.

Meanwhile, outside, Azabell was running to a house she was used to. On the way to the front porch, she stopped to pick one of the orange fruits, before going to the door and knocking.

Zeno opened the door, his brown eyes lighting up when he saw Azabell.

"Hey Azabell."

Azabell hugged him.

"Hey!"

"I figure you'd be over today. I already planned a place to go. In the forest behind my house, there's a creek," Zeno said as a gust of wind blew Azabell's long red hair blew into her face and got into her mouth. She spat it out, glaring angrily at the red locks.

"Oh cool! Let's go!" Azabell said, taking his hand. He began dragging her along.

"You know, maybe I should cut my hair," Azabell said. Zeno looked back at her.

"Why?"

"It gets in the way, and is always getting in my food when I'm eating! I'm tired of washing soup out of my hair!" Azabell said.

Zeno turned back to looking ahead while he continued to drag her.

"If that's what you want, then sure. If you want my opinion, I think shoulder length would be pretty. You can leave it as it is though, or even putting it into a braid or ponytail would work," Zeno said.

Azabell blushed with a smile.

"Hmmm…maybe I'll try a braid!"

Zeno smiled.

They made it to the creek. It was long and deep, with fish darting through it. Rocks littered the area, and the trees casted a beautiful shadow on it, only sending small rays of sunlight on the waters surface.

Azabell's face lit up.

"Wow…!"

Zeno smiled at her joy. Her smile always seemed to make him happy, almost as if her smile was contagious.

"Let's make a rock castle!" Azabell said, dragging him to a grassy spot by the water.

Back at Armin's house, Armin had just finished telling Ashtei the story.

Ashtei smiled, clapping. Armin gently shut the book and patted her head. She reminded him of Mikasa when she was younger, who he had often read stories to. Not as much as he read stories to Eren though.

Ashtei wrote down what she thought.

 **"** **I liked it. It's a good story. It shows that not everything is how it seems."**

Armin smiled, nodding.

"That's what I always thought when I was younger. Stories like these often gave me hope throughout the years, so I never got rid of them," Armin said. Ashtei looked at him curiously

 **"** **Hope?"**

"Yeah. When things were hard, books would cheer me up. You know, Mikasa, Sasha, Jean, Connie, Levi, Hanji, even Historia…we were all soldiers back then," Armin said. Ashtei's eyes widened.

 **"** **Mom was a soldier?"**

Armin nodded, grim memories coming back.

"She was."

 **"** **Hey Uncle Armin…can you read me more stories?"**

Armin nodded. A sad thought when through his head.

 _'I know who to give these to when I'm gone now…'_

As for Mikasa, at work, she was chopping up meat. Meat was more plentiful now that there were no Titans, so you could get them at a normal price.

That made everyone much happier.

Mikasa poured meat into a net, about to hang it up like always, when she heard someone say her name.

"Mikasa?"

Mikasa turned. There was Sasha, in front of the stand, wide eyed.

"Hey Sasha," Mikasa greeted, hanging the meat.

"I didn't know you worked here!" Sasha said, amazed.

"I've been working here for quite some weeks now," Mikasa said.

"I'm surprised I haven't seen you yet! I come here all the time," Sasha said.

Mikasa absentmindedly wondered how she had enough money to pay for all the food she must eat.

"Anyway, is there anything you'd like to buy?" Mikasa asked. Sasha pointed at the meat Mikasa had just cut.

"I'll take that one! Fresh is the best, you know?"

Mikasa handed it to her, and Sasha paid before running off.

Mikasa sighed, turning back and cutting some more meat. She kept thinking about her kids, and wondering what they were doing as of the moment. She kept making guesses. Knowing Azabell, she was probably out with Zeno, and Zackary probably was out too. Ashtei was either drawing, writing, sewing, or even reading. She was more introverted then the other two, much like Mikasa.

Mikasa really wished she could go home. Her heart longed to be there instead of cutting a bunch of meat.

When she got home, Azabell would probably run up and hug her, while Ashtei would show her whatever she had been doing when she was gone. Zackary would greet her with a 'Hey Mom! Did you have a good day?' And then Azabell would ask for dinner.

Mikasa actually had to admit that she was bored staying there all day. She barely got to see them anymore. She actually secretly feared that when they grew up (' _if_ _they grew up'_ her mind wanted to say) would resent her for not seeing them a lot.

By the end of the day, Mikasa was so worn down from work, that she was very happy to go home. She stopped by Armin's house. It was sunset.

Suddenly, Zackary came running in a panic up to Mikasa.

"Mom! Mom! Thank goodness! Azabell needs help! She's stuck in the creek and can't swim out!" Zackary said. Mikasa's eyes widened in horror.

"What?!"

"This way!" Zackary said, grabbing her hand and dragging her at top speed. Zackary was in tears.

When she made it to the creek, Zeno had a long stick and was trying to get her to grab on. Azabell was struggling in the water, randomly breaking surface and gasping for air while crying out for help.

Mikasa jumped into the water, swimming towards Azabell. The water was freezing, but Mikasa couldn't care less.

She grabbed Azabell, pulling her out of the water, and dragging her onto the ground. Azabell coughed up water, trembling and gasping for air.

"Azabell!"

Mikasa's hand was on the young girl's cheek, and Mikasa realized that her hands were trembling. Now that she thought about it, her whole body was trembling, and tears were streaming from her eyes.

Mikasa had been terrified, and absolutely dreaded what could've happened if Mikasa hadn't shown up when she did.

 _Azabell could've died and I wouldn't have been there to help her._

Azabell burst into tears, shakily curling into Mikasa chest. The two were absolutely drenched.

Zackary came up, fussing over Azabell, while Zeno softly rubbed Azabell's back, looking worried.

Mikasa lifted the girl up in her arms, carrying her.

"Are you okay, Sweetie?" Mikasa asked. Azabell nodded shakily into her chest.

She headed to Armin's house. When she knocked, Armin opened the door, but instantly looked worried when he saw Azabell.

"Mikasa! What happened?" Armin asked. Ashtei came running over.

"She fell into the creek. Armin, do you have any towels?" Mikasa asked, trembling as she rocked the horrified girl in her arms. Armin nodded, letting them in and rushing to get his towels.

When he came back, he gave Mikasa two. She wrapped Azabell up in it, and threw the other around her neck. She then sat down, holding her close as Azabell sobbed into her chest.

By the time Azabell had calmed, she was fast asleep in Mikasa's arms. Ashtei had been sitting worriedly by Azabell.

Zeno went to his home after confirming that Azabell was okay.

Mikasa whispered to Armin softly, "I think we should get going."

Armin nodded.

"Is Azabell going to be okay?" Armin asked.

Mikasa nodded.

"I think she was pretty shaken up though," Mikasa said. Armin nodded.

"That's expected. Well, get home safely," Armin said. Mikasa nodded, as she stood up with Azabell in her arms.

"Thank you, Armin."

"Anytime, Mikasa."

The door shut behind them. Zackary kept glancing over at Azabell, along with Ashtei.

When they made it home, Mikasa laid Azabell in bed, pulling the blanket up to her neck and kissing her forehead.

 _'I thought you were going to die. I thought that my family was going to die again.'_

Mikasa took a shaky breath, wiping the tears from her eyes that were forming. She tried to hold back a forming sob.

If she hadn't been there in time, she would've lost Azabell. If she had lost Azabell…Mikasa would likely break. She couldn't take losing anyone anymore. It hurt too much.

Mikasa left the room, walking out into the living room, only to find Zackary with his eyes filled with tears.

Mikasa sat by him, placing a hand on his back. He looked up at her, his eyes red from crying.

"I thought she was going to die…I thought she was going to die…" Zackary said.

"I know…I did too…" Mikasa very quietly admitted. Zackary looked surprised.

"Listen…Zackary…I need to thank you…" Mikasa said.

"For what?"

"For watching out for her. You've been the perfect big brother…and I'm proud," Mikasa said. Zackary felt his heart unclench from it's tight state.

"I know asking this is selfish…but…can you please take care of her when I can't?" Mikasa asked.

Zackary nodded determinedly.

"I will. I promise."

Mikasa smiled, kissing his forehead. He then nodded.

"I'm going to bed, okay Mom?" Zackary said. Mikasa nodded.

"Okay. Get some good rest," Mikasa said. Zackary nodded, beginning to walk away but hesitated before turning to her.

"Thank you, Mom."

He ran off.

Mikasa decided that she herself should head to bed. Ashtei knew when to go to bed by then since sometimes Mikasa would come home late from work. She went into the bedroom, too tired to bother cutting her hair, and collapsed on bed.

That's when Ashtei slipped into the room, curling into Mikasa's lap.

Mikasa let her. They often would come and sleep with her. It was actually a quite comforting routine. Mikasa noticed that she had fewer nightmares when they were around.

Mikasa pulled the blanket up, softly covering the two.

She kissed her cheek before whispering a soft, "Goodnight. I love you."

Ashtei's eyes closed contentedly, as the two drifted to sleep in each other's arms.

 _'Eren…I'm ashamed. My daughter was stuck in a river, begging for help, and I only showed up at the last moment. I knew that it felt wrong to leave them while I went to work. Oh Eren…I can't bear to lose anyone else. Once was hard enough, twice…broke my heart. But a third time would crush me. Please…please lend me your strength and make me strong enough to protect my family.'_


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: I love you, Mom**

The week went by pretty quickly. It had been seven days, and was now on the eighth day since the creek incident happened. Mikasa quickly learned that almost drowning had scarred Azabell and made her unable to swim in large amounts of water. She couldn't even get too close to them without getting panic attacks.

It broke her heart. It made her despise having to go to work. What if something else happens and she can't help? They could die. And…it'd be all her fault.

The thing that Mikasa was curious about though, was that her kids kept sneaking around the house and whispering things to each other.

Mikasa knew something must be going on, but she couldn't quite place it.

Mikasa sat down at the table after making breakfast, which was yet another pot of soup. The kids absolutely adored her soup, so she decided she should keep making it, since she herself didn't mind it.

It slightly unnerved her when Azabell, Zackary, and even Ashtei sent each other these knowing looks.

 _'What are they up to now?'_

Ashtei held her notebook up.

 **"Hey Mom…what's your favorite color?"**

Mikasa didn't even have to think to answer.

"It's green."

Ashtei smiled at her, her smile very small.

"Now that we're on the subject, what's your favorite food?" Azabell asked.

"What's your favorite animal?" Zackary asked as well.

Mikasa stopped to think.

"Probably carrot stew. As for the animal…I have to go with foxes…" Mikasa answered. When Mikasa was younger her mother used to make her carrot stew on cold nights, and her father would take her out to the woods to show her wild animals that roamed, and the rare times she saw foxes would always be remembered.

Mikasa felt a tinge of sadness at the memories.

"Hey Mom?"

Mikasa looked over at Azabell.

"…I wanna learn how to cook…"

Mikasa's breath caught as she smiled slightly. It was something Mikasa had secretly always wanted to teach a daughter if she had one.

"I can begin teaching you today," Mikasa said. Azabell's face lit up.

"Really?!"

"Really. But we'll begin cooking around lunch time," Mikasa said. Azabell nodded.

"Mmhm!"

Before Mikasa had realized it, Ashtei and Zackary had disappeared into the depths of the house, and the only one left was Azabell, who had insisted on brushing Mikasa's hair.

Mikasa sat there, blushing slightly as her daughter brushed it softly, her own red hair pulled back into one long braid.

"Hey Mamma…I've been curious…where do babies come from?"

Mikasa remembered when she first asked that question. It wasn't until far later she had found it, and she knew she would have any children she had ask it as well.

"Well…I'll tell you when you're older," Mikasa said.

"Awww…all Zackary keeps telling me is that they grow onto trees and then the mom eats them so that they can grow in the woman's stomach," Azabell whined.

The only thing Mikasa could think was that Zackary had one insane imagination.

"Well, you're gonna have to wait," Mikasa said softly.

"…Fine…"

When Azabell was done with Mikasa's hair, Mikasa looked at herself in the mirror. She stared, surprised. Azabell had done a beautiful job brushing Mikasa's hair. It looked silky, even shiny.

Mikasa turned, kneeling down to be face to face with Azabell.

"Do you like it?" Azabell asked, almost sounding worried.

Mikasa smiled, patting her head.

"It's beautiful."

Azabell blushed and smiled.

Soon after, lunch time arrived. Azabell requested that they have sandwiches for lunch, and Mikasa didn't refuse. It was easy to make so it would be easier to teach her.

Mikasa pulled out the ingredients.

"Okay. Copy what I do, okay?" Mikasa asked. Azabell nodded.

Mikasa placed the bread down, and began placing the other ingredients, while Azabell did the same.

In the end, they had made perfect ham and cheese sandwiches. Azabell smiled.

"Mommy! I did it!" Azabell exclaimed. Mikasa smiled softly.

"Yes, you did. You did a great job."

They placed the food on the table.

"Ashtei! Zackary! Food's ready!" Azabell called. Zackary and Ashtei came running in. They all sat around the table, eating their food.

Suddenly, in the middle of eating, there was a knock on the door. Mikasa answered it, only to be met with Armin, Sasha, Connie, Jean, Hanji, Zeno, Miranda, and even Levi and Historia.

"Happy birthday, Mikasa!" they all exclaimed.

It took a moment for Mikasa to process all of this. Then it hit her. February 10th. It was February 10th.

Mikasa had completely forgotten. She was completely speechless. She never really had celebrated her birthday, and the only one's who had known about it was Eren and Armin.

"G-guys…" Mikasa began.

"Hey, Mikasa! Can we come in?" Connie asked. Mikasa snapped out of it.

"Yeah…yeah, come in," Mikasa said, stepping aside. Everyone entered.

"Hey Mikasa. Haven't seen you in a while," Historia said. Azabell's face lit up.

"Historia!" she cried, running up and hugging her. Historia patted her head.

"Hey Azabell. Have you been well?"

Azabell nodded.

"Mommy's been taking good care of me!" Azabell exclaimed. Historia smiled.

"That's good."

Armin walked up to Mikasa.

"Hey Mikasa."

"Hey Armin."

"Let me guess, you completely forgot about your birthday?" Armin asked with a knowing smile.

Mikasa nodded, slightly embarrassed.

"Yeah but…how did everyone else know?" Mikasa asked.

"I told them. I figured you really needed to celebrate one with us all this year," Armin said.

Mikasa smiled.

"Thank you, Armin."

"Mommy! Get over here! It's time for presents!" Azabell said. Mikasa walked over to the couch.

Zackary handed her his first. It was a beautifully detailed drawing of a fox. Mikasa's heart skipped a beat.

"Zackary…"

"I thought you'd like it," Zackary said, smiling. Mikasa nodded.

"I do."

Next, Ashtei handed Mikasa something. Mikasa took it, realizing it was a small green pillow with words on it. Mikasa's heart melted when she saw what it said.

' **I love you, Mom.'**

"Ashtei…" Mikasa said. Ashtei's cheeks turned pink as she held her notebook up.

"I hope you like it."

Mikasa nodded.

"It's beautiful."

Next, Armin handed her his present. She opened it, and felt her heart practically stop. It was an old book with a brown cover. It looked ages old. But she instantly recognized it. It was the same book that they read when they were kids. It was about the world.

"Armin…"

"Eren would've wanted you to have it," Armin said. Mikasa nodded, holding the book close to her heart.

"Thank you, Armin…"

Next, Sasha handed her a present. A very large present. Mikasa unwrapped it, only to find an entire cake.

Azabell's eyes lit up at the sight of it.

Sasha smiled.

"Happy birthday, Mikasa!" Sasha said.

"I helped make it too!" Connie said

Mikasa smiled.

"Thank you, Sasha. Thank you, Connie."

Next, Zeno handed her a small bag. Mikasa looked in it, only to find large brown seeds.

"Azabell told me you liked to garden. Those are seeds to a fruit tree, that grows fruits we call apricots. They somehow survived the winter, so you can grow some at any time," Zeno said.

Mikasa smiled.

"Thank you, Zeno."

Next, Miranda shyly handed Mikasa a present. It was a beautiful bouquet of flowers, which actually still had some roots in them.

"I-I hope you like them…" Miranda said quietly.

"Thank you, Miranda. They're beautiful."

Miranda blushed, escaping to the back of the crowd.

Hanji handed Mikasa a paper. Mikasa looked at it and thought her heart could stop. It was a beautiful sketch of Eren's titan.

"We made it some time back during experiments, but we didn't need it anymore," Hanji said. Mikasa took a deep breath.

"Thank you, Hanji."

Historia then handed Mikasa a bag. When Mikasa checked to see what was inside, her eyes widened. It was a complete bag of money.

"Historia…this is so much…" Mikasa said.

"Use it on yourself, Mikasa. You deserve it," Historia said.

"Thank you, Historia."

And then, much to Mikasa's surprise, Levi stepped up. He pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to her.

It was the blue and white wings known as the wings of freedom. It looked as though it had been cut out of someone's cloak.

"This was the brat's," Levi said. Mikasa suddenly realized who he was talking about.

Eren. It was Eren's.

Mikasa held it to her heart.

"Thank you, Levi."

Last was Jean, who handed Mikasa a bag while blushing. In the bag was a long, blue dress that was just her size.

"I-I hope you like it…" Jean said, averting his eyes from her.

"Thank you, Jean," Mikasa said.

After they had cake, everyone went home. Mikasa moved all her presents to her room to put them where they belonged. She hung her fox drawing on the wall along with the Eren drawing and survey corps patch, put her pillow on her bedside, and put the book on her shelf. She put her money in her purse, and her dress in the closet.

She put her shoes on, about to go out and plant the flowers and seeds.

That's when Azabell ran up to her.

"Hey Mommy…can I help plant them?" Azabell asked.

Mikasa smiled, nodding.

"Sure."

Azabell smiled. The two went outside. While they were digging holes, Azabell asked something.

"Hey Mommy…how come you didn't remember your birthday?"

"Well…I never really paid much attention to my birthday. I never saw a need to," Mikasa said. Azabell stared in shock.

"But…it's your birthday! Your special day! Why wouldn't you pay attention to it?" Azabell asked.

"Because age doesn't matter to me," Mikasa said simply.

Later that night, after the sun had set, everyone went to bed.

Ashtei curled up with Mikasa. Suddenly, Mikasa felt her heart practically stop when she heard it.

It was small. Almost unnoticeable. If Mikasa had so much as exhaled she would've missed it.

"I love you, Mom."

Mikasa looked down at the girl in her arms, who had her ear on her chest, listening to her heartbeat. She had tears streaming down her face.

Mikasa felt her heart speed up. Her voice was innocent, scared, even vulnerable sounding. It sounded as if it had stepped right out of her heart, a gentle voice that called Mikasa.

A voice that called her home.

Mikasa felt tears stream down her cheeks as she began stroking the young girl. Historia had told her she hadn't spoken the whole time they had her, which was since she was nine.

And now, her voice was heard. Four words for only Mikasa to hear.

"I love you too, Ashtei…" Mikasa said, unable to conceal her sobs. The two just cried together, in the safety of each others arms.

And that's all Ashtei needed to know she was safe.

 _'Eren…my heart has found a place with them. When I'm away, it calls me back to them. It calls me…_

 _It calls me home.'_


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Wash away the pain of yesterday**

 _This chapter is slightly shorter than the rest! Sorry! Thank you for reading this far! It means a lot!_

Over the next few months, that was the only time Ashtei had spoken. But it undoubtedly drew her and Mikasa closer. They seemed to have an understanding now.

It was May. Ashtei's birthday, which was on the 6th of April, had passed, so she was now twelve. Zackary's was yet to come though.

But this month was Mikasa's month of grief.

It was May 15th. It was the day of Eren's day of death. Azabell, Zackary, and Ashtei undoubtedly knew something was up with Mikasa. They kept giving her these worried looks.

Mikasa would spend long periods in her room staring at the picture of Eren or his patch, even the book that Armin gave her.

Ashtei walked in while she was doing this, sitting by her and resting her head on her shoulder.

Mikasa looked over, and Ashtei sent her an understanding look. Mikasa looked back at the drawing, feeling all the memories wash over her again.

A warm scarf wrapped around her head. A hand outstretched, offering her a home. Green eyes. A smile. Comforting arms.

A small amount of patience. Angry glares. Yelling.

A smile. Her meaningful words. Standing up and protecting her, then carrying her back when she was too injured to fight.

The heartache of only having eight years. Tears. Words spilling from her mouth.

An honest embrace. A long goodbye. A titan. Blood.

Gone.

Mikasa felt as though she could throw up. Ashtei rubbed her back soothingly.

After about an hour there, Azabell and Zackary slipped in and cuddled with her as well.

Mikasa closed her eyes, taking in there gentle and warm presence. It helped.

This was her family. This was her home.

This was hope.

Before Mikasa had even realized she had fallen asleep, she awoke.

She had a blanket thrown over her, and the windows were shut. It was nighttime.

Mikasa walked out, slightly panicking. What had her kids gotten to eat while she was asleep?

When she walked out, everyone was eating at the table. Mikasa took a moment to realize it was the sandwiches she had taught Azabell to make.

Azabell turned, smiling.

"Hey Mommy. You were really tired, so we let you rest. I made dinner! There's one on the counter for you!" Azabell said proudly.

Mikasa actually felt a small smile form.

"Thank you, Azabell. After dinner…if you don't mind…I'd like to visit the graveyard," Mikasa said. Everyone's eyes softened.

"Of course, Mommy."

"I think we should all go," Zackary said.

 **"** **If that's what you want, then of course."**

Mikasa sighed, grabbing the sandwich and joining them.

"Thank you."

After eating, they headed out. Azabell and Zackary held hands, while Azabell held Mikasa's hand with her empty hand. On the other side of Mikasa, Ashtei was holding that hand.

They walked along, when Mikasa noticed the blonde haired boy she had come to know so well sitting there, right in front of the exact grave she was going to.

Armin turned, his eyes tear filled, and gave Mikasa a sad smile. They all sat around him.

"You're here too, huh?" Mikasa asked. Armin nodded.

"Everyone else came earlier and left…I've been here all day," Armin said. Tears streamed down his cheeks.

Mikasa wrapped a comforting arm around Armin, and he clenched his eyes tightly.

"It's hard, you know…?" Armin said. Mikasa nodded.

"I know…I know…"

The two sat there, gazing sadly at the name of the one they knew so well.

 _'Eren Jaeger.'_

"You know…I bet he's watching over us right now…" Mikasa said quietly, looking up at the stars.

Armin nodded.

"Yeah…yeah, I'm sure he is."

When Armin and Mikasa were about to leave, Armin stopped her.

"What is it?" Mikasa asked.

"…Well…Thank you, Mikasa…" Armin said. Mikasa shook her head.

"Anytime…Armin."

And the two knew, as they walked back home, that he was smiling at them from above.

And encouraging them into the next day.

 _'Eren…I know that it'll be a long while before I see you again…and although you're gone…you'll always be soaring in my heart…with your wings of freedom spread out on your back.'_


End file.
